THE GAY/STRAIGHT ALLIANCE

by Heather

The ep opens with Jessie and Grace walking through the schoolyard before school begins. They're arguing about Grace driving Jessie to therapy later, and Grace the biotch says she "can't plan her entire life around [her] therapy." Yes, that's right, because you have Dimitri stalking to do. Katie jumps in(thank God), grabbing Jessie. Seeing this, Grace stomps away. "Was it something I said?" Katie wonders. No Katie, she's always like that, don't worry. Actually, that's not what Jessie really says. She jokingly tells her that it's all her fault, but then changes the subject and opens her jacket to reveal a cute multiple-shades-of-purple sweater. Katie tells her that it looks great on her, but I get the impression Katie would think Jessie looked great in a garbage bag.(I would be inclined to agree.) Jessie tells her she loves the sweater, because it's "so cozy." Katie links her arm through Jessie's, telling her she loves the word cozy as they walk into school.

Cut to Dr. Lily(or so she would like to think) doing her radio show. She's talking in that voice that people who host the love song dedication shows use. She's just finished giving some caller advice, and she's glad he told her he was going to call his son right then. Wow. The caller switches off, and Lily returns to her normal voice. She'll be filling in for Stan the Car Man again, and she's no expert. Please keep repeating this to yourself-perhaps if you say it enough it will sink in! Judy's standing outside the window, and Lily asks Les(her boss) if he remembers Judy-"Not really," he rudely replies, and waddles out of the studio. Judy asks if he's always like that, and Lily whips out the stellar wit and says he is, "unless he's not feeling well." I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. Well, not really, but for her sake I gave a sympathy laugh. Judy's canceling their lunch date, and Lily's upset but recovers when Judy says they'll see each other at a book signing tomorrow. Lily has arranged for Grace to drive Jessie to therapy, and when Judy asks if she's sure that's okay, Lily claims that since the play they've grown a lot closer. They're almost like sisters! Right, if your definition of "closer" is the distance between Alaska and South Africa.

Flash to Dimitri's class. He's babbling about the poems of John Donne, and tells the class to read the poems he's written on the board, as well as "To His Mistress Going to Bed." The class snickers and the bell rings. All rise, but Creepitri(© Television W/O Pity) halts them, announcing he's been "blackmailed" into being the faculty sponsor of the Gay-Straight Alliance. What did they blackmail you with? Did they threaten to reveal your fetish for your 17-year-old girls? Ruh roh! Tad is shocked that they still have that, but Dimitri says that the need for tolerance is still important, or something to that effect. The students all get up, and Tad tells Creepitri he's DEFINITELY joining. Katie overhears, and tells Tad to shut up. Good thing she did, or I would have been embarrassing myself by telling the TV to shut up. Anyways, Tad says bisexual girls should be reason enough, and that Katie should come with him. Umm, right Tad. Good reasoning. I suppose his claim that Katie should join him was supposed to make us question Katie's sexuality, but I think I figured that one out a long time ago (see: Tough Love). Anyways, Katie says there's no way she's coming because it's too boring and stupid. Jessie is spying(not really, I think she just happened to overhear. But spying is such a fun word!) from the door, and asks her what's boring and stupid. Katie says "Oh, those clubs like the Gay-Straight Alliance. All it is is arguing about how to raise money and who should make the stupid posters. Nothing ever really gets done." Jessie "totally" knows, and asks if Katie has change for the soda machine. "Have I EVER denied you change?" They giggle and scurry down the hall. Uh, Katie, would you deny Jessie ANYTHING? That's what I thought. She's so cute.

Oops, I forgot to recap a little Grace/Dimitri conversation in that last scene. Must have zoned out. Flirty flirty, gross gross. Grace asked Dimitri what he meant by blackmailed, and he puts his hand on her shoulder(cooties! Cooties! Circle circle, dot dot…) and says he was kidding. She looks a little surprised(disappointed?) as he walks out of the classroom.

After Jessie and Katie leave the room, Tad makes the profound observation that "Dimitri just totally outed himself." Grace flips her shit and feels the need to defend her man(or so she wishes), claiming that if Tad's going, he must be gay too! Tad rattles off his reasons for his theory and walks off with his jock-buddies, none of whom appear to be under the age of, say, 20. Grace huffs and shoots daggers at his back with her eyes. Ouch, Grace! Keep those things under control, would ya? Oh, the maturity of these students. I wonder if I was ever like that.

Nope, probably not! </wondering>

Cut to Grace skipping after Mr. Dimitri in the parking lot. Ugh. I begin to zone out, but Grace is babbling about some idea, but then dumbly asks, "Is this your car?" sticking her head inside and peering around. Uh, no Grace, he's just standing beside the driver's side with the door open. I do that a lot too. He asks her what she had to ask him about. Apparently it was important, seeing as she bolted through the parking lot to catch up with him. She says that she thinks a lot of people won't join because they won't feel comfortable, and then states that they should "try to find a way to make them…" she spaces out, apparently forgetting the world she had said no more than 10 seconds before. I hear those Gingkoba pills work wonders for memory, Grace. Dimitri finishes her sentence. They must be destined to be together, considering they're now completing each other's sentences. Grace babbles about Dimitri's car, then whines that she has to drive Jessie places all the time and that people are always worried about her(Jessie). Waah! Cry about it. She then bitches about how people are always worried about Jessie having a ride, but they just assume she(Grace) can walk. Subtle, Grace, subtle. This "small" hint whacks Dimitri over the head and he offers her a ride home. Oh dear.

They're now in his funny-looking car, and they pull up to Grace's house. Ugh. Grace and the creep in a small space-I'm beginning to feel ill. Apparently Zoe flipped her shit last year because of global warming. Grace then makes the profound realization that they've arrive at her house when the car stops and she sees her house outside. Blah blah, we should have the meeting at your house, blah blah. Grace is too flustered at the prospect of being within a foot of Dimitri and can't unlock the door, so Creepitri leans over her and opens the door for her, instead of just showing her. I'm pretty sure she could have figured it out if you just TOLD her, you sicko. She thanks him 756 times and gets out of the car. Thank God.

In the kitchen, Lily is going through the mail. Jessie stalks in quietly, apparently trying not to be seen by Lily or something. Lily comments that she's wearing a nice sweater that she's never seen before. "It's Katie's, she got it for Christmas," Jessie states. Lily says Katie's a nice friend for letting Jessie borrow her Christmas present. Jessie smirks and says she knows. Inside she's thinking "Shut up, Lily." Because we all know Jessie hates these "bonding moments" with Lily. Grace storms in, and apparently she's rather late because Lily questions her whereabouts. So, I'm assuming Jessie rode the bus, and I seriously question Dimitri's driving speed if a SCHOOL BUS beat him somewhere. Anyways, Grace says she was helping revive the Gay-Straight Alliance. Lily is attacking an envelope with a fork and I fear for my life, even through the TV. Lily is shocked. So is Jessie, and she questions her. Grace states the obvious and says it's to "build understanding between gay kids and straight kids. And like awareness…and stuff." Do you know what you're talking about Grace? I didn't think so. Grace sniffs an orange or maybe a grapefruit, and finally decides on one. Lily didn't know Grace had such strong feelings, and Grace profoundly declares that people should be allowed to fall in love with whoever(I believe the word she's looking for here is WHOMEVER) they want, or else there's no point in living. In other words, she's setting the stage for a scandalous relationship with Creepitri. Lily takes this as meaning Grace is a lesbian, and sits there with a blank look on her face. The phone rings, and she scurries away with it to talk to Les(the waddling boss from the radio station). Jessie, stirring away at her yogurt, absently inquires who else was there besides Grace and Mr. Dimitri. Grace gets incredibly flustered, and asks Jessie what her point is. Jessie, fearing the wrath of Grace-bitch, says she was just asking. Grace realizes that Jessie didn't mean anything by her question, but then goes into bitch-mode anyway. She says a lot of people who she thinks would join probably won't, like Jessie's friend Katie. Jessie acts as though she's been whacked by a 2x4, and asks Grace to clarify. "She's gay," Grace bluntly states as though it's a well-known fact. She's not, Jessie denies. According to Grace, Katie and Sarah Grassaw(the bitch from Tough Love) were madly in love. Ew. Apparently Katie totally broke Sarah's heart. Good for her, that bitch needed a smack upside the head. Anyways, Jessie is in denial, so Grace tells her it's true, she can ask anyone. Jessie doesn't feel the need to ask anyone because she knows her. Grace smirks and leaves the room, while Jessie sits in shock. Jessie dear, have we forgotten that sexually charged staring contest you had with your friend Katie in the last episode? Apparently.

Flash to Lily knocking on her boss's door. Here's the highlight of the episode, folks. </sarcasm> Blah blah, Lily is very understanding of her daughter and that has enabled Grace to join the Gay-Straight Alliance. Les doesn't want to hear about Lily's gay daughter and leaves the room. Heh. I can't help but laugh at the look on Lily's face while she tries to convince Les(and herself, probably) that Grace isn't gay. How tolerant and understanding of her to accept this! Anyways.

The next day at school, Jessie approaches Katie in the hall, who is talking with an extra about how she's "completely flunked" something. Katie notices that Jessie's hair is all messed up, and runs her fingers through it to try to fix it. She's talking about putting braids in it later, while Jessie self-consciously (and in slow-motion, to boot!) looks around at other people in the hall. Some chick turns around and looks at her. Tad walks by and looks at them, then at the floor, smirking. Dimitri walks by and gives them a passing glance. I shudder at the sight of him, praying that he's not going into pedophile mode by looking at them. Anyways, Jessie flips her shit and stops Katie, telling her that she should go. Looking at Jessie's watch, Katie says she's got 45 seconds. Well, then Jessie better go, because she doesn't wanna be late. Suuuure, you just don't want to be seen looking like a lesbian. What happened to Jessie being so sure Katie wasn't gay? Mmmhmm. Jessie, I love you to death, but you really confuse me! Katie is confused just as I am, but says goodbye and walks down the hall, AWAY from her English class. Grace is looking at a flyer for the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting on a bulletin board outside Dimitri's classroom. She stops Jessie as she walks by, saying that she can't drive her to therapy because there's a Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. I begin to consider counting how many times "Gay-Straight Alliance" is said in this episode. They bicker, but it ends that Grace will drive Jessie to therapy, but she has to come to the meeting. Jessie stalks away, pissy(and rightfully so, because she just finished talking to Grace). The bell rings, and Creepitri suavely invites her to join the class. Ew. Somehow Katie has managed to get into the classroom on time, despite the fact that she's just walked past it. Right.

Cut to Jessie at therapy. They're talking about Katie being gay. Jessie doesn't like that people are saying Katie's gay when she isn't, because she knows her really well and has concluded that if she were gay, she'd be going to the meeting tonight, which she's not. Or, Jessie, it could be the fact that Katie declared just the day before that she thought the club was stupid. I'm going to suggest the Gingkoba pills to Jessie as well. Her smart-ass therapist declares that settles it, and Jessie gets a look on her face that I can't really decipher. It's somewhere between "shut up, asshole" and "hehehe, I knew I was right!" I'm now thoroughly confused, because during school it seemed that Jessie thought Katie was gay, but now she's convinced that she's not? Ugh.

Grace and Jessie are at the door of Dimitri's den of sin, and he bounds down the stairs in pajamas and a bathrobe, apparently in the process of shaving. Uh, dude, at least make yourself decent when you answer the door, it's not like you don't know students are coming over. He tells Jessie and Grace to go to the living room and put on some music, he'll be right back. Grace is ecstatic to be in her man's house for the first time. Jessie asks Grace why she made her come, and Grace again plays the "it's an important issue" card. Jessie agrees, and says that she doesn't think it's right to say something about someone just because you heard it somewhere. Grace the hypocrite agrees. "Yeah, but that's what you did to Katie!" Jessie argues, silently adding, "You bitch!" in her head. She's defending her girl; she just doesn't know it yet. Grace says she wasn't labeling because it's just true. Jessie gets pissed again and asks how she can say that when she only heard it somewhere. Again. Grace is too busy snooping through Dimitri's belongings to fight back, so Jessie goes for the kill and says that must make Dimitri gay, because he has a lot of musicals in his collection. Grace doesn't flinch and asks how many musicals he has. Jessie gives up trying to fight, as Grace is obviously too busy fantasizing about Mr. Dimitri to argue about much of anything. Grace shows Jessie a book she's discovered. It's a book of poems by August Dimitri. Whoo, I can tell Jessie is about as excited as I am, because she says that they shouldn't be snooping around in his stuff.

The front door flies open, and students pour in. Uh, now I'm wondering why Jessie and Grace went to the back door and knocked, while everyone else just let themselves in through the front. Whatever. Katie's there. Um, clubs like this are stupid, I thought? Again with the whatever. "Hi Billie!" Katie exclaims. Jessie's kind of shocked, but says hey. She's apparently as confused as I am, since she questions Katie about her previous statement about the club being stupid. Katie says it is stupid, but she wanted to see Dimitri's house. Nice recovery Katie, very believable. I think you might even have Jessie going, which is a great feat because she knows you really well! Katie moves around Jessie, taking off her coat and looking around the room. Jessie is stumped and watches Katie. Dimitri walks in, and Grace tells him he's a real poet. Well, I think he knew that, dipshit.(I apologize for all the sarcasm related to Grace/Dimitri-I intensely disliked their storyline) Anyways, he snatches the book and puts it back on the shelf, saying his poems aren't worth reading. Probably not, if you had the same pedophilic tendencies when you wrote the book as you do now.

Cut to later in the night. Grace, Creepitri, Russel, and some other kids are sitting around a table electing officers and making plans. Dimitri's chewing on a carrot with his mouth open, gross. The camera pans to Jessie and Katie, sitting off to the side. Very much NOT involved with the meeting. Jessie is scribbling away, and Katie looks restless. Dude, I would be too, having to listen to Dimitri babble on about something I didn't give a shit about. Oh, right, back to the recap. Katie asks Jessie if she wants to get out of there, but Jessie just kind of brushes her off and goes back to her notebook. She looks almost paranoid, like she's going to get in trouble for talking or something. Katie realizes she's gotten the shaft and sits back, looking a little upset. Poor girl!

The table-dwellers are talking about a dance. Apparently it was tried a few years ago, but no one showed up. Grace claims it was because they had a lame DJ and that no one knew about it. Mr. Dimitri says they could call it "the homo-hetero hop" and giggles, apparently proud of his quick wit. I find myself not laughing, once again. Grace, however, disagrees with me and giggles like a little schoolgirl. Oh, wait, she is a little schoolgirl. Anyways, Russel says he's "totally offended by the word homo." Grace doesn't really care and says that it doesn't matter what they call the dance, it's just going to be a place where people can do what they want with whomever they want and no one will be judged. Yeah right Grace, this is HIGH SCHOOL we're talking about. I can just see the asshole kids going to the dance just to see who's gay so they can harass them later. Mr. Dimitri beams, proud of Grace. Or something. Anyhoo, cut back to Jessie and Katie. Katie is totally bored, and asks Jessie if she is. Jessie brushes her off, saying she's trying to finish…whatever it is that she scribbling away at. I feel bad for Katie again as she plops back into her seat. Just simmer down there Jessie!

Back to the table. Dimitri says they need to find a way to get funding, and, OF COURSE, Grace volunteers to help him "hammer out a proposal." Dimitri says they should get together and confer about that. Grace acts cool and nods professionally, but inside we all know she's giggling like a schoolgirl again. The meeting ends, and Katie quickly snatches up her coat, reading to escape. "Come on," she tells Jessie, ready to make like chips and dip, make like trees and leave, make like a ball and bounce…*cough* Sorry. Jessie, being all weird again, says, "Shouldn't we help clean all the stuff up?" Grace pipes in and says she'll do it, but asks Jessie to tell Lily she'll be late. Jessie, bitter because Grace just ruined her escape route, agrees. I'm grossed out as I realize this will leave Grace alone with Mr. Dimitri. Tad then jumps into the conversation, asking Jessie if she needs a ride home. She doesn't really answer, so Katie answers for her. "Yeah, she does," she says, a bit dejected. "Have fun," she sadly/sarcastically calls to them. "Katie," Jessie calls after her. Katie doesn't turn around. Aww! "Uh, are you ready?" Tad asks. Jessie doesn't answer, she just stands there, apparently realizing how mean she was to Katie throughout the whole meeting. Oops.

Back at Rick and Lily's house, Lily and Judy are coming home from the book signing. Rick is engrossed in something on TV, but asks how the book signing was. Lily and Judy claim Jonathan Franzen is a god. Who is this character anyway?! Lily disappears, but Judy sits down on a chair and asks Rick what he's watching. He comments that the girl who just coughed is going to die soon. What an acute observation. The sad part is that Judy and Rick actually look interested or something.

Ugh. Another Grace and Dimitri scene. They're in the kitchen doing dishes. Blah blah, Grace didn't know he wrote poetry but there's a lot she doesn't know about him. He doesn't respond, but the phone rings and he looks relieved. He answers it, and flirtatiously says "Hi Chris!" This is where I begin to prey that Chris is a guy so that this Dimitri/Grace storyline goes no further. Grace catches this, and motions that she's going to get her coat. In the living room, Grace eyes his book of poems. Cut back to the kitchen. Dimitri is still on the phone, and Grace waves goodbye to the man of her dreams. He tells her he'll try to locate the memo about funding for events, and she smiles. She's so excited that she was just alone with the love of her life that she almost forgets to close the door. The back door, of course, because she doesn't want to use the front door like everyone else did.

Tad and Jessie arrive at Rick and Lily's house, and join in on the horror movie watching party. Rick asks where they were, and Tad tells him. Rick is sort of surprised, and Jessie tells him Grace dragged her there. "GRACE joined the Gay-Straight Alliance?" He inquires, still surprised. Lily looks sheepish and pretends to be surprised she didn't tell him. She asks if anyone wants food, and even though they all say no, she scurries into the kitchen, apparently embarrassed by this whole "Grace is gay thing." Gosh, Lily, you're so tolerant and understanding! Why can't my mother be like you? Tad quickly snags her seat, and asks what movie Rick's watching. He doesn't know, but regurgitates his theory about the girl who just coughed. Tad thinks that's cool. Of course. Judy hops out of her chair and goes into the kitchen to pester Lily.

Judy states the obvious and says that Grace joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. Tomorrow I'm planning on counting the number of times that phrase is said in this episode. Anyways, Lily goes into denial mode and pretends like she doesn't give a crap. Judy says it's huge, but Lily just kind of ignores her and opens the freezer, grabbing two cartons of ice cream. Okay, so Lily is making popcorn and just got out ice cream. Who is all of this food for? No one said they wanted any. I guess Lily's just a binge eater. Judy says she never would have predicted "this," but that it does sort of make sense. Lily gets all huffy, and asks her if she's saying Grace is gay. Judy says it's possible, but she's more shocked to think of Grace "as a person with a sex life of any kind," and kind of giggles. Dude, she's freaking 17. She's not exactly a little kid anymore. Lily once again denies that Grace is gay, and Judy calls her on "accepting her kids for who they are." Lily says she is, because Grace happens to be straight, because the club is the Gay-Straight Alliance(emphasis on the word "straight"). Right on cue Grace enters through the back door, causing Lily and Judy to look at her kind of awkwardly. "What?!" she asks, all pissy again. I sigh. Is it that time of the month again, Grace? Lily asks how the meeting was, but Grace just says she has homework and escapes. Lily flips her shit, saying that maybe Grace is gay because she couldn't even make eye contact. Uh, okay, whatever you say Lily.

Cut to Grace sitting on the floor, reading Dimitri's book. She's all dreamy-eyed, looking as though she's planning her wedding to him. She sighs and looks all giddy. Gross.

Cut to the next day, where Grace is sitting in the kitchen, still reading Dimitri's book. I'm surprised she tore herself away from it long enough to sleep, because if she had stayed up all night, she surely would have finished it. Maybe she's already re-reading it. Lily interrupts her state of bliss and asks her to drive Jessie to the hospital to visit her mother. Grace gets pissy and asks if she's just supposed to wait around for an hour in the lobby where it smells like "death and disinfectant." Lily plainly says yes, like it's nothing. Apparently that's also a good title for a poem. Grace lets out a laugh and agrees. Lily sits down and begins to question Grace about last night's meeting once again. Grace totally gives her the shaft, calling for Jessie to get her ass down there. Jeez Grace, pipe down, give the kid a break! Lily says she didn't realize Dimitri was gay, but Grace says it doesn't matter who's gay and who isn't. Jessie, arriving at just the right time, asks her why she keeps talking about it if it doesn't make any difference. Heh heh heh, go Jessie. Two points for you. Lily, in an attempt to stop an inevitable argument, tells them to go to school. After they leave, she mumbles "Try not to learn too much." Right, not really appropriate, but okay.

In the hallway at school, Jessie is walking along at a pretty quick pace. Katie is catching up to her, trying to talk to her. She says she waved to her on the steps, and asks if she saw her, because she was like…waving. Jessie "didn't see her." Yeah, okay. Katie enthusiastically asks if Jessie wants to come over later, but Jessie can't because she has to go to the hospital later. Katie offers to go with her, but Jessie quickly says that it's "not really fun for [her]." Katie looks totally crushed, her enthusiasm gone, and I really feel bad for her. She asks Jessie if she's mad at her or something, which is what I would've said too. Jessie says she's not, so Katie asks why she's "being like this." Katie looks and sounds like she's on the verge of tears. Is it that time of the month for Jessie too or something? The bell rings, and Jessie says she has to go. Katie asks her to wait, but Jessie just keeps on walking. Katie slumps her shoulders, looking totally dejected and heartbroken. Dimitri pokes out the door and asks Katie if she'd care to join the class. Though I'm sure she's thinking "Not particularly," she walks in the class. Immediately upon sitting down, she whips out her notebook and begins writing away, apparently composing a letter to Jessie. We sort of time warp ahead to the end of class, and Katie is folding up the letter. Dimitri is babbling on, and I think Grace is the only one paying attention, as usual. Grace says something about John Donne being detached, and that she just read these poems by "this other person," and those poems totally revealed everything about him, and that's what she thinks a poet should be. Dimitri, realizing she's talking about him, just kinda sits there. The bell rings, and the students quickly escape. Good decision, kids. Dimitri tells Grace that it was an interesting point. Katie walks up behind Grace, and Dimitri tells Grace they'll "continue this later." Katie, apparently in a very trusting mood, asks Grace to give the note to Jessie when she sees her; it's very personal. Katie walks out of the room, and Grace begins to unfold the letter. "Bitch!" I shout, but she quickly changes her mind and tosses the letter into her bag, speedwalking out of class. Good girl, Grace. You just may redeem yourself.

We come back from commercials with a close-up of the letter. Jessie's sitting in the hospital reading it, looking really upset and on the verge of tears. She shakes her head, confused or something, and continues to look at the letter. Karen wakes up, and Jessie quickly shoves the letter away. Karen says she'll be coming home tomorrow. Jessie kind of smiles, and Karen asks Jessie how Katie is. Jessie gets a look on her face, and then tells her mom that she's fine. Karen blathers about how Katie's a good friend, and that she wasn't really honest with her friends in high school. Karen mistakes Jessie's tears as her being upset about Karen being in the hospital, but Jessie says she is, but it's not really that that she's crying about. It's time for the pronoun game, folks!(Okay, you won't really get that unless you've seen Chasing Amy, but whatever.) Jessie says that there's "this person," with whom she just wants things to stay the way they are, but they want to take the next step. We all know she's talking about Katie, but Karen says Judy just told her about how much Tad seems to care for her. Jessie just decides to play along, sort of, since she continues the pronoun game. She asks what you should do when a person likes you a lot more than you realized. "Do you want the person to like you?" Karen asks, catching on and not inserting Tad's name into the sentence. Jessie doesn't know what she wants, but Karen says that just because someone has feelings for her doesn't mean that she has to return those feelings. The nurse walks in, causing Karen to make a joke about how all she wants is more green jello. Jessie smiles weakly, still fighting back tears.

Cut to Grace knocking on the door at Dimitri's house. His friend Chris is there….and, Chris is a woman! She's also wearing a see-through shirt. This whole scene is awkward, but Dimitri is sort of rude to Grace. Chris says a few things that make Grace feel like a little kid, and she says she has to go. At the door, Dimitri tells her to try to remember these things during school hours. Grace stomps away.

Jessie walks into the house, pissed as hell. She tells Rick, Lily, and Eli that if Grace is going to get so pissy about having to drive her places then someone else should do it. Obviously she doesn't realize that she's not pissed about being Jessie's personal chauffer, but rather because Dimitri was an ass to her, and also because she's jealous of Chris, who appears to be Dimitri's woman. Jessie tells them that Grace is out in the car, and Eli offers to go get her. Just in time, Grace storms in the house, all in a tizzy, and says she doesn't want to talk about it. Lily and Rick look surprised. Why, I don't know, but they do. Well, this is like the fourth time that Grace has been a bitch to her mom in the past 3 days. I think it's time for a good SMACK.

Cut to Rick and Lily in their bathroom. Rick decides that Grace must be upset because they're asking her to "chauffer Jessie around." Um, if you've realized this, why do you continue to make her do it? Lily counters that she could be gay, and Rick asks if that's what she thinks. They go back and forth about it, and then Lily says Rick is lucky because Jessie is "heterosexual and has a boyfriend named Tad." This is where I begin to laugh my ass off. Rick agrees, and Lily smacks him. She calls herself a bigot. Rick says at least Grace isn't a bigot, but Lily goes on about how when you have a daughter you just never think that she might be a lesbian, it just never crosses your mind. Right as she says this, the phone rings. Guess who? It's Katie! How ironic. Anyways, Lily walks down the hall, where Grace is standing outside the bathroom door. Guess what? She looks pissed! Lily asks if Jessie is in there, and Grace says that she is and she's taking forever. Lily knocks on the door and says Katie is on the phone. Jessie immediately opens the door (which earns an eye-rolling from Grace) and asks Lily to tell Katie she'll talk to her tomorrow, because she's really tired. I sigh. Once again, poor Katie. Grace looks pissed and enters the bathroom, shutting the door. Jessie's thinking, "Ugh, why didn't I shut that door?" Grace asks why she won't talk to her (Katie). Jessie says it's none of her business, but Grace tells her she has it easy, and she should just go for it, because no one will care. Jessie freaks out, saying that Grace read the letter. Grace said she didn't (which is true for once), and she wouldn't do that, but Jessie says that's exactly something she would do. Welcome to Bitchfest 2002, folks! Jessie says she's not in love with anybody, no matter what Grace says. She also says "Just because you picked somebody who could never love you back in a million years…" obviously talking about Dimitri. Grace cuts her off and tells her to shut up. Jessie says it's obvious and it's embarrassing. Grace counters with a low blow, saying "You'll do anything to protect your little image. Perfect Jessie, who couldn't possibly be in love with a GIRL!" Grace sounds almost bitter when she says this, and the evil look on her face is priceless. Jessie shoots her the "die, bitch, die" look, and says "I can't believe how much I hate you," stamping out of the bathroom. Grace is so witty, she replies with, "I hate you more!" I suddenly get reminiscent of the "I know you are, but what am I?" comebacks I used in elementary school. Julia Whelan and Evan Rachel Wood, simply put, rock. This scene was awesome.

The next morning, Grace fakes sick, obviously trying to avoid Dimitri. Lily's not buying it, but asks what happened to Spencer Lewicki. Grace says, "Nothing happened to him, he's gay." Lily wonders if he's also in the Gay-Straight Alliance, but Grace says he's one of those people who doesn't know they're gay. She then offers to tell Lily all about it if she lets her stay home from school. Ah yes Grace, try one last time! No such luck though, as Lily retorts "I'd love that Gracie, I really would. After school." Heh. Shafted!

Lily meanders down to the kitchen to see Rick on the phone with the doctor. He's letting Jessie stay home from school because her throat hurts. Tee hee. I feel bad for Katie again though, because Jessie's obviously trying to avoid her. Anyways, Lily scoffs and tells him not to mention it to Grace.

Cut to Mr. Dimitri's class, where NO ONE is paying attention. Dimitri calls on Grace, who just gives him the death glare before being saved by the bell. She tries to make a quick exit, but Katie grabs her and asks her what happened. Grace thinks she means with Dimitri, and says nothing happened, looking panicked. Katie asks her if she gave her the letter, and Grace kind of zones out. Katie takes that as a no, but Grace catches herself and says she did give it to her. Katie gets worried, but Grace feels bad and says that Jessie may not have read it yet because she was really upset after seeing her mom at the hospital. Katie regains a shred of hope, and gives Grace a hug, telling her that she loves her and making a beeline. Oh yeah, somewhere during that scene Dimitri popped in and pestered Grace about the proposal for the Gay-Straight Alliance, and they're going to do it after 8th period that day.

Flash to Grace reading her proposal to the vice-principal. Mrs. Gonzalez tells her she did a great job and shakes her hand, which Grace takes as her cue to run. She bolts out of the room and down the hall, while Mrs. Gonzalez tells Creepitri that "she really is something." He agrees, looking after Grace almost longingly. *cough* jailbait! *cough*

Back in Jessie's attic-room, Jessie's reading the letter but drops it when she hears someone knock on the door. She bolts out of her chair, surprised to see Katie standing there. She says she thought she was her stepmother, and Katie says she's not, Eli let her in. Jessie just says "oh," and Katie says she just came to get her sweater. Jessie looks around for it, and Katie spots the letter on the floor. "Oh look, you missed the trash," she says, rightfully upset. Jessie says she wasn't going to throw it away and snatches the letter off the floor. Katie asks for that back too, and Jessie's shocked. After taking the letter away, Katie says she's embarrassed herself enough already, and Jessie's confused. She says she shouldn't have said all those things, but Jessie says it's okay. Katie says it's obviously not, since she'll barely even talk to her. Jessie just wants to be friends, and Katie says, "Me too." Okay, now not only is Jessie confused, so am I. "Well, from your letter…" Jessie begins. "Forget the stupid letter!" Katie exclaims, saying she doesn't want anything that Jessie doesn't want-Jessie and Katie are starting to walk towards each other. "Well can we just be friends then, I mean am I still your friend?" Jessie asks, crying now. Katie's crying too, and she says of course they can still be friends. They hug, and Katie says they'll just throw the stupid letter away; looking like it's the most difficult thing in the world to say. And, for her, it probably is. Jessie looks as though a light bulb has come on above her head, and pulls out of the hug. "I can't throw it away, I wanna keep it forever," she says. I prepare myself for something big. They search each other's faces for a moment, and then bam! Jessie, let me repeat, JESSIE, leans in and kisses Katie. It's short, but huge. Jessie looks shocked, saying, "I just…" "I know," Katie finishes. Jessie gets a blissful smile on her face, and searches Katie's face again before leaning in for another kiss. This one's twice as long, and is quite possibly the sweetest kiss ever. They pull apart, and Jessie's still smiling. Katie kind of grins, and they Eskimo kiss. Aww!

And now to ruin the good mood I was in from that last scene, we cut to Grace and Dimitri again. Grace is walking through the parking lot, and Dimitri pulls up to her. He takes her home again, and in the car in front of Manning Manor he tells her that they can't be friends. If the situation were different, he'd love nothing more than to sit around and discuss poetry with her, etc, but they can't do that. Grace asks if Chris was his girlfriend, and Dimitri says he shouldn't be asking her things like that. He then answers her anyway, saying that she was, in college, but now they're just friends. They stare at each other, and he tells her she'd better get out of the car. "Why?" Grace asks, in a very interesting tone of voice. Ah, Julia Whelan played that so well, but I'm still grossed out. Dimitri continues to stare at her face but then….Lily knocks on the window! She has a knack at breaking up staring contests, doesn't she? This time I'm actually glad. (Last time being the Jessie-Katie sex-stare when they ditched school in "Falling in Place") She thanks Mr. Dimitri for driving Grace home, then asks Grace to help her carry the groceries inside.

Grace and Lily are in the kitchen, and Lily says it was nice of Mr. Dimitri to offer her a ride home. She's also glad that she has Mr. Dimitri, because he really cares about her and now Grace has "a real mentor." Lily tells her she wants her to be who she really is, no matter what, because she loves her. Grace is obviously misinterpreting, because I don't think she has any idea Lily thinks she's gay, and she says she loves her too. In fact, she loves everyone. Lily sends her off to take some cough drops up to Jessie.

In the attic, Jessie and Katie are staring at each other adoringly. Of course Grace has to ruin the moment by knocking on the door, causing both of them to fly into a standing position. Grace is surprised to see Katie there, but Jessie and Katie fib and say she was just dropping off some homework. "Thanks," Jessie says. "Anytime…bye Grace." Katie replies, walking out of the room and looking at the floor. Grace tells Jessie her mother got Jessie cough drops, and Jessie thanks her. They tell each other they're feeling a lot better, which of course symbolically means they got their love issues worked out. Grace leaves the room, and Jessie plops on her bed, looking more blissed out than we've ever seen her; she's happy. Aww. Fade to black. And dance by the light of the moon.

BACK | HOME