GARDENIA
by Emily
Upton Sinclair. Jessie. Books in her arms. Walking. As high
school students do during that period of time in which they have to shuffle from one class
to the next. A kid who looks about twelve requests the attention of her majesty, and she
replies, “Sure. It’s a free country.” Dork boy asks, in what he thinks is
the smoothest tone ever, “Will you have sex with me?” Jessie, not even miffed,
pretends to ponder this and answers casually in the affirmative. Dork boy nearly pees his
pants. “Serious?” he asks, taken aback. Jessie’s all, ‘Yeah,
man.’ “But it has to be today; it’s now or never!” Jessie says, faking
eagerness. Dork boy nearly pees his pants again, as he stutters that he has basketball
practice today. Oh, well. Jessie’s off with a hardly sincere, “Sorry.” Dork
boy in one last lame attempt to win her over, yells, “Jessie! You’re a
fox!” as she heads to her locker.
Cue Katie! And, my, my, is she looking all territorial, as she hears Dork boy’s
parting words to the object of her affections. She follows Jessie to her locker, greeting
her with a casual, “Hey.” Jessie, realizing Katie caught the tail end of her
exchange with Dork boy, wonders if all boys are “such idiots, or is just that girls
mature earlier?” Katie, fountain of wisdom that she is, offers, “Boys never
mature; you should see my brothers.” Jessie half-laughs, and Katie reveals that she
has a present for Jessie. Yay! Presents! Of course, it’s the Billie Holiday CD.
Jessie reads the cover, tossing out, “Billie Holiday?” and Katie spouts off
about her uncle who knows everything interesting, and how he’s been playing Billie
for Katie since she was “still a Brownie.” What the hell does that mean? Anyone?
“Still a Brownie?” Is that seriously a Girl Scout reference? Or is there
something I just don’t know? This has been bothering me FOREVER, so anyone who has
any insights, I’d appreciate hearing them. Anyway. Jessie wants to know who Billie
is, so Katie explains that she was “this amazing singer. And anything bad that could
happen to someone happened to her,” adding, “I just like it when people sing
like that,” kind of pointedly, and Jessie seems to acknowledge that Katie’s
insinuating something about her style of singing. “Cool,” Jessie beams
appreciatively. Katie then goes on to talk about Billie wearing the white gardenia in her
hair as she brushes her own hair with Jessie’s brush. Do girls really do that? Just
steal each other’s brushes? I mean, I have girl friends, and we don’t share
brushes, unless it’s absolutely necessary. I dunno; it just seems gross to me. Anyway
again. Jessie tells Katie the gift “is so nice of you,” and Katie says, perhaps
with a little too much subtext attached, that she was listening to Billie, and it made her
think of Jessie “for some reason,” because then the air gets a little awkward.
Katie lamely offers that she’d better go, and Jessie agrees. How long do these people
have between classes!? I hate high school on tv, and I hate that I’m saying that in
the middle of a scene in a show created by the same people who did My So-Called Life,
because they got high school down pretty realistically in that one. Why couldn’t they
do it here?! Oh, well, I keep digressing, and I’m sorry. So Katie and Jessie part
ways, Jessie calling her thanks for the CD after Katie.
Okay, I don’t even wanna recap the next scene, because it’s all giggly and
teenage-girlish, and yuck. So, we’ll just say, Karen’s driving Jessie and Katie
home from somewhere—school? And Karen’s trying to initiate conversation with the
girls, but Jessie’s having none of it, preferring to whisper and giggle in
Katie’s ear. Katie bolts; Karen tries to talk to her daughter—Karen feels wicked
left out of Jessie’s life. The end.
Next scene. Katie and Jessie at school. Apparently, they’re the only ones there. So
it must be, like, at least four o’clock for the halls to be that empty. Why are they
still there at four o’clock? No rides? I experience such a tragedy in junior high,
hanging around till all hours waiting for my mom to come pick me up, because I went to a
Catholic junior high that wasn’t in my town, and there were no buses, but these
children have no excuse to be at school this late! I’m just sayin’.
So, anyway, they’re at school, and Katie is…frolicking? We’ll say
frolicking through the halls, babbling something about getting pizza later and asking
Jessie if she’d like to come. Jessie clearly would love to go, but she has that
annual shopping trip with Karen; she starts to explain, but cuts herself off to demand of
Katie what in the world she’s doing. Apparently, Katie believes she’s dancing,
as does Jessie, for when Katie grabs Jessie’s wrist, Jessie protests that she
“can’t dance.” But Katie pulls her in for a little twirling anyway before
letting her go. Jessie picks up where she left off in her explanation of the shopping
trip: they go and buy lots of clothes and have a big sundae afterwards, which apparently,
was “really interesting last year when nobody knew that [Jessie] was anorexic.”
Jessie admits she doesn’t wanna go all that much, but she feels like she should,
because Karen’s been depressed lately. Katie confides that her mom has been too, but
she doesn’t know it; “she thinks everyone stays in the same housecoat till four
o’clock in the afternoon every day for a year.” Then she asks Jessie if Karen
cries, to which Jessie replies that she does, but she doesn’t think Jessie can hear
her, as she takes a seat on the floor in front of a row of lockers. Katie asks if Jessie
is, indeed, going on this shopping trip, and Jessie says that Katie “should see that
stuff she wants me to buy,” and as she says this, Katie freaking lies down on the
floor. Of the school. The school! Seriously, where is this place? At my school, the last
thing you wanted was any part of your body that wasn’t the sole of your thickly-shoed
foot to touch the floor, because it was constantly covered in a thin layer of dust. We
used to joke that it was asbestos powder (it probably was). So, gross! Katie is a strange,
strange girl. Anyway, from her spot on the floor of the high school hallway, Katie goes on
to philosophize about the purpose of clothes and how everyone their age dresses to hide
who they are, which Jessie seems to think is, like, the deepest thing anyone’s ever
said, and all the while she’s rolling around on the floor! Rolling! Good Lord, what
is wrong with this child? It’s the floor! Of the high school! Whoever gave Mischa
these stage directions has apparently never set foot in a real high school while real kids
were attending real classes, and apparently, Mischa never has either, because anyone who
has ever been to high school would never, ever even consider rolling around on the floor,
because it’s just gross! Sorry. But, seriously, it’s gross. So, anyway, Katie
realizes she’s been babbling and shyly apologizes, offering, “I’m talking
too much.” Jessie smiles and says she likes listening to Katie babble. Aw. I totally
feel that same way about my best friend that I’m in love with. Wups, projecting. In
another moment of profundity, Katie says Jessie should go shopping with Karen. Jessie just
ponders this, leaning back against the lockers, and we cut away from the girls.
All right, next stop, the bedroom—heh, heh, I crack myself up. Katie and Jessie are
in the attic, Jessie on the bed and Katie on the floor. Katie puts in Lady Day’s CD,
asking Jessie if she knows why she likes Billie. Jessie takes the bait, and Katie says
it’s because she’s “enigmatic,” and Jess has to ask what that means.
I’m incredulous. Jessie’s a sophomore, and she doesn’t know what
“enigmatic” means? (It is cute, though, how Jessie uses her new word of the day
in conversation with Lily later—like Tai in Clueless, so I suppose I’ll let it
go.) Katie offers an explanation; Jessie nods her understanding and says she really likes
Billie. I know you all care what I think, so I’ll say, I have no opinion on Billie.
Of course, I’ve only listened to “God Bless the Child” and “I Got It
Bad (And That Ain’t Good),” so maybe I don’t know enough, but, still. Eh.
It must be a Herskovitz/ Zwick thing, because Angela and her dad had a minor bonding
moment over Lady Day in “Father Figures” in My So-Called Life. Anyway. Katie
says that she thinks Jessie could sing like Billie, and Jessie tries to pretend to be
modest, but you can totally tell she would love to sing “God Bless the Child”
for her girl. Katie goads her into it pretty quickly, and Jessie starts to sing. Evan has
a really nice voice, but it’s just not… it’s not—it’s too sweet
for Billie. Katie may think Jessie has some kind of pained undertone to her voice, but
truth be told, she’s fifteen, and she can’t possibly sing like Lady Day. No
offense to Evan or anything—she certainly is talented, but she’s no Lady Day.
You know who could probably pull of a really good Billie cover? Hehe, just think of
who’s writing this recap, and I think you’ll have your answer. Okay, sorry for
all the randomness, but I know you love it. So, that’s basically it for that scene.
In the last Katie scene of the episode, Jessie and Katie return to the department store
where Karen and Jessie take their annual trip, looking for that blouse that Karen liked.
Jessie searches desperately, and Katie, ever the day-saver, finds it. God, that shirt is
ugly.
And that’s it for this episode. Coming up from me: “The Gay/Straight
Alliance.” Till next time, guys!