Never Going Back
by Mel

Summary: Challenge Fic. Jessie/Katie and elevators.
Disclaimer: Oh, how I wish I could somehow take responsibility for such awesome and complex characters...but alas I can't...I'm borrowing...I own nothing, but a crappy laptop and a cat that acts like a monkey...
Rating: Hard R, NC-17 to be safe?
Feedback: Yes, please. fivebyfive13@prodigy.net
Author's Note: This is my first Jessie/Katie fic (I'm primarily used to RoswellSlash) so please be gentle...I tend to be kinda fragile.

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I hadn't seen Katie Singer in almost ten years. Somehow I knew I was going to love her forever, but when my father forced us all to move to Australia when I was in high school it all fell apart. Truth be told, I never really forgave him for that. Katie and I entertained our impossible adolescent fantasy that love conquered all and gave a shot at the all too inevitably doomed long-distance relationship. But with more than a few continents between us, it seems it just wasn't really meant to be. I stayed away longer than I was originally supposed to and Katie was on her way to college somewhere...somewhere that wouldn't be anywhere near me. We both decided that it would be somewhat less painful in the long run if we just broke it off there before we could get pulled in any deeper. Like that was even possible. And we were just lying to ourselves...it hurt like Hell.

And suddenly there she was just a few yards away from me, playing with the elevator call button. Out of every hospital in the world, here she was standing in mine. Five years ago I would have called it fate, a divine intervention. The higher powers telling us we were supposed to meet, supposed to be together. I was too old for that now. I've grown up too much, been through too much. She was just there. It wasn't magical. It wasn't some grand illusion of lost love regained. And somehow it was. I could feel my heart start racing, my palms begin to sweat. I hadn't loved anybody the way I loved Katie. Call it elevated first love or whatever you will. I just call it the truth.

After all these years, how was I sure this was Katie standing in front of me? I knew those legs, that hair (though a little darker now) cascading over her shoulders, falling into her face softy. She still hadn't managed to find a shirt that could completely cover her stomach and I found myself smiling at how she used to pull at the hem of her shirts feverishly trying to get them to connect with the waist of her jeans. With a hand tugging lightly at the back pocket of her faded jeans and a small expanse of skin showing above them, it seemed now she didn't care anymore. I would know Katie Singer in pitch blackness, wearing a blindfold with my hands tied behind my back. More than sight, I could always feel her. Even when she wasn't close, she was still there. The voice in my ear. The hand on my cheek. The vice around my heart. And somewhere along the way I realized she would never fade. She would never leave me.

I was suddenly nervous. My feet threatened not to take me a step further as I made my way over to her. It occurred to me I wouldn't even know what to say to her. But here I was shuffling across the pure white linoleum floor in her direction, hands shoved deep in the pockets of my pure white lab coat, stethoscope dangling around my neck onto my puke green scrubs. A few feet away from her a familiar Katie scent threatened to burn through my nose and into the depths of my soul. I closed my eyes for a second, just breathing her in. It was somehow comforting. Somehow safe.

"Jessie?"

And my eyes flew open. There they were, those mossy green eyes I had fallen into so many times I couldn't count. They were a little darker now, a little deeper. Her face was the same, maybe more defined. Older. More radiant than ever. The years had been good to Katie Singer. I smiled, unknowingly sending a sparkle into my crystal, ocean blue eyes.

"Or should I say Dr. Sammler now?" Katie teased in her normal Katie sarcasm and leaned back slightly to give me once over. As her eyes dragged over me, I was attacked by the familiar feeling of want that Katie had always triggered in me.

"Not yet," I answered, meeting her eyes. "I'm still trying to finish up my internship."

"Still, Jess," she began, pulling at her shirt nervously. "You look amazing."

"What are you doing here?" I inquired, feeling my face go hot and tried to change the subject.

"Maternity ward," she answered with a smile. My heart threatened to drop. She noticed me looking at her awkwardly.

"My brother's wife just had baby," Katie explained, slightly amused at my reaction.

"Oh," I managed to eek out.

"Yeah."

"So, Katie, how have you been?"

"Drifting mostly," she answered honestly. "Here, there, everywhere. Actually that's more of a where than a how, huh?" she joked and paused. "I've been all right, Jess," she added seriously. "Never as good as I was with you, but all right."

Ten years can seem like a long time...until you come face to face with the other half of yourself. Then it seems like hours instead of years and somehow everything that went wrong doesn't matter anymore. Suddenly the only thing that matters is the fire threatening to burn through my chest and the chance to finally end up where I've always wanted to be...anywhere near Katie.

"I've missed you, Katie," I admit truthfully, chastising myself for wearing my hair in a tight blonde ponytail instead of letting it fall around my shoulders. I would have been able to hide behind it then. But then again, I never really ever wanted to hide from Katie anyway. And even if I did, she was bound to find me.

"Yeah," she said hopefully, eyebrows raised and biting at her lower lip.

"I tried waiting for you. I always harbored this unbelievably idealistic fantasy that we were somehow meant to be together." I couldn't help but smile in fond rememberance of our young, unsure and somehow perfect love. There was just an honesty that I had silently promised Katie a decade ago. We would never lie to each other, never hold back. We had both hurt each other unintentionally and on purpose, but standing only feet away from her that all began to fall away. Maybe this was our second chance.

"But after you left for college, I found my life just moving forward. And now here you are right in front of me and I can only think of one thing," I said, my thoughts clouding and my face suddenly going serious.

"What's that?" she asked seductively, hope and desire glowing from her perfect eyes.

As the elevator doors opened with a ding, I instinctively grabbed her hand and pulled her in with me. We were alone in a confined space, the door squeaking shut in front of us. Katie's hand was warm in mine and I was almost scared to look at her. But even the cheesy Muzak wafting through the elevators speakers couldn't dampen my mood. Every bone and organ in my body was telling me to stop thinking about doing what it was I was thinking about doing. If I did this now, I would only be setting myself up to get hurt again my head kept saying. But my heart was dragging itself over to the girl standing next to me who wasn't a girl anymore. And neither was I.

Once the doors were closed, we turned to look at each other. And with a quick extension of my free hand I pulled the elevator's stop button knowing that it was the only one in the building that wouldn't emit an alarm. We were stopped, suspended in time. Katie was looking at me with wide eyes, much like the first time we had kissed in the attic. Much like the first time we had made love, the night before I left her for good...for what now seems like yesterday. I slowly brought my hands up to rest on her face. Her skin was soft and delicate and warm. And I'll be damned if I didn't see Katie struggling to fight back tears.

I don't know who made the first move forward, it was all so surreal. But seconds later our lips were brushing against one another. It was sweet, full of a love that I had never found with anybody else. I could feel it in the way she kissed me, in the way her arms snaked around my waist and pulled me close. Katie Singer was still in love with me. Tangling my hands in her hair I brought her lips harder against my own, a passion building between us both that wouldn't be denied.

As the kiss instinctively deepened, our bodies pressed closer together and my stethoscope slid from around my neck and hit the floor of the elevator with a loud thud. We didn't notice. Katie's hands slid up my back, sending chills down my spine all the way to my feet. She pulled the lab coat off my shoulders, mouths still connected, and I shrugged it from my shoulders into a heap on the floor. We had gone too far to go back now and I didn't want to go back. This was something I wanted. Katie was always something I wanted.

I pushed her back against the wall, the only thing impeding us being pressed flush together was the chrome railing that was digging into Katie's lower back. She didn't seem to notice. My lips attacked hers with fire, my hands sliding up and down the rough material of her jeans. But that wasn't enough. I needed to feel her skin under my hands. I pulled away slightly to look into her eyes for permission to take it further. She smiled and I finally realized I hadn't been truly happy in ten years.

"You've done this before, I see," she stated with a grin as my hands slid up under her shirt and caressed the soft skin they connected with.

"Here and there," I replied moving my kisses down her neck and to her collarbone. "Never in an elevator, though," I breathed against her skin.

I felt her hands pull the drawstring to my pants loose and I tugged at the button of her jeans in a swift motion. And suddenly there we were inside of each other. It was like I was floating all my life just to land here at this moment. It was over it seemed just as quickly as it began and we were stuck there clinging to each other neither of us wanting to let go. It would have been easier just to stay there in a cocoon of love and passion and warmth for the rest of our lives.

"I love you, Jessie," Katie whispered in my ear. "Always."

"I love you too," I answered just as softly, my lips finding hers in a gentle kiss...an affirmation of the love I felt so deeply in my heart. "So what did your brother name the baby?" I asked, smiling still a bit breathless.

"What?" she asked, slightly confused.

"Your brother. The baby," I said again.

"Oh, that," she answered, smiling nervously. "There is no baby."

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I called your Mom last week," Katie admitted, still smiling. "She said I could find you here. This wasn't just a coincidence, Jess. I'm here because of you. Only you," she finished, her eyes sparkling. I felt like my body was going to explode. Katie Singer had finally come back for me.

"I'm tired of moving, Jess. I've been all over the world and I didn't fit anywhere. In ten years, the only place I know I belong is with you...anywhere you are. The only place I fit is right here in your arms," Katie said, tears falling slowly. "I need to stop. I need a place to call home. You're home to me, Jess."

"This wasn't just some random sex for you?" I asked in disbelief, not quite ready to think this could really be happening. Waiting for an alarm clock to suddenly wake me up.

"I've had my fair share of random sex," she answered, laughing slightly. "I have always saved the making love for you, Jessie. It could never just be sex between us. It's always been something way deeper than that."

I couldn't fight it any longer. I kissed her hard, tasting tears on her lips as well as my own. We pulled back, foreheads still touching. I looked into her eyes and I knew she wouldn't lie to me. I knew this was right. In all the years we had been apart, I had been waiting for this moment and it was finally here.

"Jessie Sammler, please report to fourth floor x-ray," the intercom interrupted their sweet, tender moment. "Jessie Sammler to fourth floor x-ray, please."

"That's my cue," I said pulling away long enough to tie up my pants and gather my belongings.

After I had put myself back into respectable working order, I looked to Katie who had refastened her jeans and was again tugging at her shirt. I took her hand silently and popped the elevator back in working order. As the elevator reared to the first floor, I kissed Katie sweetly and soundly and pressed my keys into her free hand.

"1586 West Ninth. Apartment 8," I answered her as she was looking at me quizzically. "Please feed the cat and I'll be home by six. I expect dinner on the table," I teased as her eyes lit up with her smile.

"Yes, ma'am," she answered and squeezed my hand tightly.

The doors to the elevator opened up and Katie slipped into a crowd of people, glancing back to catch my eyes and smile. People flooded into the elevator and I called to some guy to hit the number four. I leaned back against the chrome railing, my head spinning. As far as I was concerned, I was still the only one in that elevator. My life so far had been nothing more than a series of unexpected events, all coming together to bring to where I was right now. But Katie was finally home. And so was I.

END.