Together
Again
by Katie
PART 9
"And Carrie."
"Yeah?" Carrie sniffed as she began to wipe her eyes.
"You can be gay and live a normal life." Jessie took a deep breath. "I have."
Carrie stopped right in her tracks. Completely stunned, she didn't know how to respond.
".What did you say?"
There was hesitation in Jessie's body. Should she actually repeat herself, thereby letting her well-kept secret open? Or just shrug it off, saying nothing. Jessie didn't know what to do.
"Dr. Sammler, are you sure you didn't say anything?"
".I, said," Jessie took in a deep breath of air. She was tired of living a lie. "You can be gay and have a normal life, I have."
[Oh my God, what did I just do?! Breathe Jess you'll be fine. Everyone was going to find out eventually. Besides, I don't want to live this way anymore. I don't care what other people think. I just want to be me.]
Carrie still couldn't believe her ears. I mean, she always had her suspicions but now it was really true. Care wasn't really stunned or shocked, just really happy that her mentor could finally be honest with herself.
"You know what Dr. Sammler?"
"What Carrie?"
"I'm really proud that you can be this honest with me. Thank you for sharing this with me. You've helped me so much in the little time I've known you. But if you don't mind my saying, maybe you should have this kind of relationship with your own daughter. Madison really needs you right now and well, from what she's told me, you never seem to be there enough for her."
Jessie was almost struck silly by Carrie's words. Jess always knew that her relationship with Maddy could be better but with work, it just wasn't working as well as she wanted it to. She always thought Madison just wanted to be left alone and even though know that she stood there and thought about it, when she would do that to Karen, she just wanted even more attention and affection. To hear from someone else that her daughter felt unwanted and unloved, almost killed Jessie. So much in fact, tears started to form around her magnificent blue eyes.
"I'm so sorry Dr. Sammler. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, it's really not my place anyways."
"No Carrie, thank you for telling me. I really had no idea Madison felt that way. You really opened my eyes. Now you go and skate your heart out." Jessie was now at the point of balling. She didn't want to be crying, but she couldn't really help it, it was out of her control. Carrie walked up to her and gave her a quick hug and then exited. After Carrie left, Jessie went back to her desk but instead of carrying on with her paper work, she just sat there, crying, over a lot of things.
Earlier that morning
Madison's mind was taking over her dreams. When she woke up she couldn't remember everything, just blotchy bits and pieces, yet everything she did remember, was so vivid and so.real. Maddy couldn't believe what she had dreamt, the idea seemed too preposterous for her to grasp. In her dream, Madison was just doing some recording in the studio and all of a sudden, this amazing girl walked right into the studio and kissed her. Madison couldn't believe how much she just remembered liking it and the girl. Up until a few moments later, she never saw the girl's face. Now that idea didn't seem to out there, except for the fact that the girl wasn't Kelly. This dream has been a reoccurring one for the past few weeks, so Madison's conscious didn't really think anything of it, until the girl's face was revealed.