Together
Again
by Katie
PART 8
Saturday Morning @ the hospital.
Jessie was already loaded up with enough paper work to last a week, and it was only 7:30 a.m. She decided to come in a few hours early because there were so many things that Jessie had to catch up on. There were so many things going on, especially inside her head that she almost forgot what she was doing. Her secretary, Joyce, was hard at work as well, answering the phones and makingschedules and running errands all the time. Jessie sometimeswondered why Joyce was still working for her. She was only in her mid-twenties and could be getting a heck of a lot better pay somewhereelse, but nonetheless, Jessie was glad to have her around. It made being a doctor, a whole lot easier.
"Excuse me, Dr. Sammler?"
"Yes Joyce?" Jessie barely had time to look up at Joyce, who was standing very politely and silently at the door. Katie had called the previous day and convinced Jess to get off work early so they could go out to dinner, so now, Jessie was making up for the time she should have been in the office. Not that Jess really cared; being a doctor was her life, her calling if you will.
"Andrew is here."
"Alright, he knows he doesn't need my permission togive out the flowers to my patients. Just let him into the ward." Still, Jessie didn't catch on.
"No, Doctor, you don't understand. Andrew has flowers for, you."
That definitely caused Jessie to look up from her mountain of papers.
"Why does he have flowers for me?"
"Well, apparently someone sent them to you." She turned around towards the hall. "Hey Andrew, bring them in here."
Andrew, the local flower guy, came strolling into Jessie's office with a bouquet of flowers. The glow of Jessie's face was enough to light an entire city that just had a blackout.
"Do you know who they're from Jessie?"
"Oh my God, I know exactly who sent these. Thank you Andrew."
"Anytime Dr. Sammler," Andrew replied after setting the flowers gently on the desk. Then he turned to Joyce.
"Can I call you tonight?"
Joyce blushed. ".Sure, you know the number."
"Alright, I'll talk to you later then. Bye."
"Bye."
Once Andrew was out of sight, in order to divert the attention from Joyce, she turned to ask Jessie whom the flowers were from.
"Who are the flowers from Jess? They're gorgeous!"
"The flowers are from a friend of mine, I think. We went out to dinner last night, but they usually don't send flowers."
"Well, what does the card say?"
"Let me see." Jessie picked up the bouquet of flowers and picked out the card.
It read, "Jess, I had an amazing time last night and I hope you did too. Thanks for lightning up my world, once and again. Don't make any plans for Friday because I have something special for you. I'll call you later; enjoy the gardenias and the day. Forever yours, K.S."
"Wow Jess, who's the guy?" Before Jessie tried to give a response to that, she just thought to herself, "oh Joyce, if you only knew."
"Oh, it's no one."
"Well, it's obviously SOMEONE, to write something so romantic as that. `Forever yours?' Come on, you have to tell me who K.S. is."
"No, I don't have to actually. It's no one's business but my own. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a million piles of work to do before I get to go home today."
"Fine, I have a lot of records to update anyways. But seriously Jess, you can tell me, I won't say anything, I swear."
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind Joyce."
"Ok, that's all I ask."
"Oh and Joyce?"
"Yes?"
"When Carrie Blackstone comes in, just send her into my office, alright?"
"Ok."
It wasn't until 9:35 am that Carrie walked into Jessie's office.
*Knock, knock *
"Who is it?"
"It's Carrie, Dr. Sammler."
"Oh Carrie, come right in." Carrie opened the door to Jessie's office and slowly began to walk in.
"Here, just take a seat and I'll be with you in a moment. I'm trying to catch up on some of my paper work."
"Alright. So, those are really beautiful flowers, what kind are they?"
"They're gardenias. They are beautiful, aren't they?"
"Who gave them to you?"
"Oh, just a friend of mine."
"The same friend that you went to dinner with last night?" Carrie wasn't trying to be sarcastic or out of line, she was just curious. For as long as Carrie had known Jessie, she never exactly knew if she was gay or straight. Carrie would always ask, not specifically `hey are you gay or straight?' but questions where the answer could make the conclusion. Jessie never answered, always changing the subject at the last moment.
"Yes, it's the same person. Let's change the subjectshall we?"
"Alright. Madison told me to come see you, so I'm here. What's up? My checkup isn't until Thursday so this must be something important otherwise you would have just waited until then."
"Well, I'm just.worried about you. Are you really sure you want to go compete in that aggressive in-line skating competition today? Because as a doctor, specifically, YOUR doctor, I wouldn't really advise it. But then again, even without your condition, I wouldn't advise it."
"I understand your concern, but don't worry, I'll be fine. These competitions are the only things that keep me going. It's the one thing I have that Danielle doesn't and even if it's not good for my health, it's good for my soul and that's all that matters to me."
"Oh honey, don't try to compare yourself to Danielle. You two are your own people. How many times have we talked about how you and Danielle are two very different people and there's no way you could ever be compared to each other?"
"I know, I know, but I can't help it. I know I shouldn't be skating today but I have to."
"You don't HAVE to do anything Carrie."
"I'm doing this for myself, and only for myself. No one else wants me to skate anymore. They keep saying its not safe anymore, but HELLO skating has never been that safe, and besides, if I'm not going to live that much longer, why can't I just do what makes me happy?"
"I see your point. You should still consider the health factors though. One fall, one slip, and you could be a goner. If you keep on these new medications you could--"
"I don't want to turn into a living pharmacy! Why can't you and everyone else understand that?! I want to be happy, be free. I want to live these last few months the way I want to, even if it's not good for me. I don't want to stay alive so I can turn into an experimental vegetable. I'm done with the tests and I'm done with the meds. I feel fine right now. As long as I'm happy,my heart will be just fine." The fumes were raging off of Carrie's body. The cancer surrounding Carrie's heart had begun to cause a lot of problems within her life. It all started about a year ago, when Carrie got knocked out during a basketball game. After she was rushed to the hospital, they found a tiny piece of cancer. Her parents paid for the best doctors money could buy and for a few months they thought everything was fine. Care started experiencing heart problems and then the Blackstones brought her to see Jessie. There was really nothing Jess could do to help Carrie. Heart technology and research has come a long way, but it was too risky to try to surgically remove the cancer, which was now spreading. All Jessie could offer was some counseling and medications. And for the most part, those were enough to keep the cancer stable.
"Carrie, calm down. I'm not here to judge you or your decisions. If I was in your shoes, I guess I could understand your position. But just think about it, if you keep with the meds and the tests, they could find something to cure you, so you could live a regular, normal, healthy life."
"Even if they did find someway to cure me, I'd never live a normal life. In a way, it'll almost be better if I just die soon."
"How can you say that?!"
"Easy. I'm gay. My parents would be completely fine with it if I just dropped dead tomorrow. I'm just a burden to them. The black sheep of the family and it's killing me." Just then, small rows of tears started streaming down Carrie's face.
"Just because you're gay doesn't mean that you can't live a normal life. If you
are such a burden to your family, then how come they've paid all the money in the world to
get you the best
treatments?"
"All they are is money! They've never been there for me the way they've been there for Danielle and you know that's true. They'll shell out all the money in the world but not one bit of affection, of love and attention. I'd rather just die now so I don't have to go another day of it."
"Oh Carrie, come here." Jessie got up from her chair and when to sit next to Carrie. For a good twenty minutes, Jess just let Carrie cry on her shoulder. Finally, Carrie was starting to come around.
"It's going to be ok Carrie, I promise you. No matter how your parents are, I'll always be here for you, ok?"
"Yeah, ok. Thanks Dr. Sammler."
What Jessie was about to say took years of courage to muster up. She didn't know why Carrie was the one she would end up telling, but Jessie thought it might help Carrie.
"And Carrie."
"Yeah?" Carrie sniffed as she began to wipe her eyes.
"You can be gay and live a normal life." Jessie took a deep breath. "I have."