Together Again
by Katie

PART 10

…except for the fact that the girl wasn't Kelly. This dream has been a reoccurring one for the past few weeks, so Madison's conscious didn't really think anything of it, until the girl's face was revealed…

For the longest time, Madison had been struggling with her budding sexuality. She always thought this was just a phase or something, until the dreams started. Madison thought that there was no way she was just "confused" if she was dreaming about the same sex. These dreams had almost become a reality check for the girl, as ironic as that sounds. Now more than ever, Madison knew two things. First, she was gay. She had pretty much given up on the male population a long time ago. They're not all bad; they're just not what she's looking for. And second, Madison was in love with Kelly, despite their recent fights and her growing infatuation for Carrie. So when the girl in her dreams turned out to be a mixture of both Carrie and Kelly, Madison didn't know what to do. It helped prove the fact that Madison was indeed gay, but now there were two girls in Madison's life. There was Kelly, the one girl for her, who knew all the little details. Then there was Carrie, the new girl in her life that doesn't know that Madison's even gay. Both girls brought a lot to the table, making Madison's decision a little more complicated. Madison knew she couldn't deal with anything without talking to Kelly first, even though it was only 8 a.m. on a Saturday. So Madison got into an upright position in her bed, with the covers still wrapped all around her, picked up the cordless next to her nightstand, and gave Kelly's house a ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Madison. I'm sorry this is so early but I really need to talk to Kelly, is she awake yet?"

"Oh hi, honey. It's okay, umm…hold on, and let me go see. I'll be right back."

"Alright." While Mrs. Shipman was busy going to see if Kelly was awake or not, Madison picked up her remote and clicked her mp3 player on, letting the techno guitar riffs, drum beats, and rockin' melodies of Jamiroquai fill the room. [While periodically working at Ben's Music Center, I was introduced to the funked out sounds of Jamiroquai. It's like a mix of techno, funk, pop, and rock. Some of their stuff isn't my style, but one of their songs; you give me something, stuck with me. There was something about the musical arrangement and the lyrics that drew me in. As the song began to play, I got completely caught up in it, so much in fact that I didn't even notice that Kelly was on the other line. Whoops.]

"MADISON?? ARE YOU THERE?" Her voice seemed very much aggravated and such.

"Oh – sorry Kelly, I wasn't paying attention. How are you?" This really isn't how I wanted this conversation to go.

Kelly's voice went from angry to normal in almost like two seconds flat. That's Kelly for you, never taking anything too seriously, at least anything that really didn't need to be taken seriously. "It's ok sweetie, I know you get caught up in music sometimes. I'm alright, a little sad that I have to go see the play with Gwen and not you."

Right then, Madison's jealousy gene turned on.

"Wait as second. Who's Gwen?"

"Oh, jealous are we?"

"Yes. Don't do this to me Kelly," Madison pleaded in her best little kid impression. Her plea was true though; she couldn't deal with it if Kelly had someone else.

"Now you understand how I felt yesterday," Kelly responded very matter of fact-ly. Oh she definitely knew how to make a point.

"So, who's Gwen then?" I was completely oblivious to this mystery gal.

"Gwen's my cousin, from Boston. She had a long weekend off from Boston College and her parents thought it would be nice if her and I got a chance to spend some time together. Plus my parents think she'll be a "positive" influence on me, if you know what I mean." Kelly let out a sight sigh of annoyance. Her parents just couldn't accept the fact that Kelly didn't like boys. Gwen has always had a boyfriend and in the eyes of most adults, she was golden, perfect. But Gwen was hiding a dark secret inside, something that could change everyone's opinion of her, and not for the better…

"Oh, ok. So she'll be with you for the rest of the weekend?"

"Yeah, she'll leave Sunday night."

"Oh," was all Madison could manage to get out. She was out to prove to Kelly that she wasn't afraid of people's reactions and that it was time the world, or at least the population of Buffalo, know that she, Madison Marie Walker, was in love with Kelly. [To be completely honest with myself, I am afraid of people's reactions. Well, only maybe ten specific people: my mom, Uncle Eli, Aunt Grace, Aunt Zoë, Grandma Lily, Grandpa Rick, Grandma Karen, Grandpa Henry, James, Grace, and my dad's, even though you might not think he'd count, but sometimes I can almost feel him looking down on me. I really don't care what anyone else has to think about me. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm a completely different person. Being gay is just a small part of me, if other people can't deal with it, that's their problem. I just hope my family can deal with it. * Sigh *]

"Like you said before, we'll just have to wait for another free weekend to hang out."

"That's not it Kelly." There was a sad sort of tone to Madison's voice. Kelly almost immediately caught on, but she wasn't 100% sure they were thinking about the same thing.

"Well, what is it then Madison?"

"…I…I thought that maybe we, or rather I could…umm…" Madison couldn't understand why it was so hard to say this. It wasn't as though she was telling her mom that she was gay, only talking about the idea of coming out to Kelly. Kelly, the girl that Madison had fallen for.

"You could what Maddy? You can tell me."

"I know it's just…hard."

"Well, take your time. I'm here for you." Kelly was absolutely serious about that last comment. It was true. Despite their lack of spending time together lately due to sports, school, and other things, Kelly was growing more and more in love with Madison. And even if they were to stop being "so close" with each other, Kelly wanted their friendship to remain. But the thought of Kelly being without Madison was too devastating to even try to think about.

"I um…think, well, I thought that maybe this weekend I could have umm…came out to my mom." [Jesus, that was hard to say! I don't know why it was, but it was. I wonder what Kelly's going to say about that.]

She was speechless. Kelly's only hope was that Madison didn't say that just because she was pushing the issue of coming out. Knowing that this could be too good to be true, Kelly had to have some reassurance.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this? You're not thinking about coming out just because I've been trying to get you to; are you?" If the answer to the second question was yes, Kelly didn't want to hear it. She never meant to push Madison into doing anything she didn't want to do, or rather, wasn't ready for.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to tell the world, but no it's not because of you. Well, the whole way I found out I was gay in the first place was because of you, but you've helped me to figure out who I really am. I want to tell my family because I want to."

"Oh Maddy, I'm so happy that you're ready to do this."

"Yeah, so am I." Madison couldn't help but smile to herself. Now here comes the hard part…

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