Sparkle
by Kat

Sorry for te delay, hope you enjoy.
"Love Song For No One" –John Mayer

PART 5

`Staying home alone on a Friday. Flat on the floor looking back on old love, or lack thereof.'

It was Friday night. Tomorrow night would be filled with some pretty interesting things. Russell would be hosting his annual Saturday Night Party. Overexcited but also slightly nervous about bringing Katie, Jessie lied on a blanket on the floor of her attic bedroom getaway. She was feeling so many things. It was all a little overwhelming at first. To make sure she remembered this feeling of happiness, she decided to write in her journal. Since she was in middle school, Jessie had always had a journal of some type to write her thoughts in. For once, it was something positive. The previous pages were filled with anxiety about being gay, depression on her anorexia, which she tried to convince herself that she didn't have it, & the average teenage angst that comes with being a teenager.

"Journal,

The past few days have been amazing, I don't even know where to begin! I met probably THE most wonderful & beautiful girl & she likes ME!!! I can hardly believe it myself. Even though we've just started to get to really know each other, it feels like we've been friends for years. Have you ever had that feeling like something was missing in your life? Well, I have, for probably the past sixteen years. The first time I felt more complete, was when I came out to my parents, close family & friends. Yet, I still had that feeling of loneliness & isolation around everyone. Katie has helped bring me out of my shell, no pun intended.

I wonder how everyone is going to react to Katie tomorrow night at Russell's. Hopefully everyone will like her & we'll all get along. Maybe Katie & Brad will help each other out to get used to our weird customs. Of course Russell & Tad decided to play `I never' in honor of them. I wonder how Katie will act around them. Around most people, she's got this rock solid exterior, making it seem like she's perfectly fine & well adjusted, while rebelling against the system. But on the inside, she's the biggest softie & a sweetheart.

Or at least she is to me.

God, am I falling for her already? It hasn't been even a week of knowing each other, but it feels like forever! Have you ever felt like part of you was missing? That you were completely lost but you didn't really know what was missing? That's exactly how I felt for probably the majority of my life. Even when I finally decided to come out, there was still something missing. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I wasn't as happy as I could have been. Now, I think I can finally say that I couldn't be happier.

After the kiss, that sparkling kiss that felt like fireworks were going off in the distance, I called Russell. By the end of the night, he knew as much about her as I did. I'm so glad I've had Russell to talk to about these things. I mean, yeah I have Sarah & I love her to death, but she just wouldn't get it. You know what I mean? Between you & me, I think she's in love with Tad. But of course Tad's eyes have been pinning over Grace since the beginning of grade school. Maybe tomorrow, Sarah would finally talk to him about something possibly happening. A friendly date couldn't hurt, right?  Katie is so…enigmatic. I mean, I never know what she'll do next.  When I first laid eyes on her, I thought she was a hardcore punk who would just think I was some nerdy little perfectionist. But instead, I was totally surprised. She's quite the charmer, with her amazing smile & quick wit. Man, can she sing & play guitar well! Everyday this week after school, she had a different song to play for me. I really loved it. Was (is) she trying to seduce me? Maybe. Was I falling for it? OH yeah.

I know what you're thinking. If I'm so `in love' with Katie, why am I writing to you & not hanging out wit her. Here's the answer. First of all, Eli wanted to spend some `quality time' with his kid sister before heading off to California for a two month stay to record his band's debut EP. Second of all, Katie's dad had some sort of banquet thingy to attend & therefore Katie had to be dragged along for the ride.

Well, Eli's calling me. We're going to watch Shanghai Noon, The Four Feathers, & then a cool music documentary on The Donnas, Lucy Woodward, Bush, & The Clash. Pizza, popcorn, acoustic guitar sing-a-longs & the occasional pillow fight are guaranteed.

Until we meet again,
Billie

Oh yeah, before I forget. Billie is my new pet name if you will from Katie. She asked me to sing her something yesterday. At first I didn't know what to sing, so I decided to look through her C.D. & album collections & found Billie Holiday. I've been a fan of hers since I was a brownie. So I told her I'd sing `God Bless The Child' for her if she'd like. Katie got so excited. She even brought out her acoustic & we did a little duet together. It was really sweet.  Before I got out of her car, she kissed my cheek & said, `you're really beautiful, you know that Billie? Good night.' I think I'm falling in love. No more `love song for no one' now! Yay!!!"

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