Sparkle
by Kat
"why georgia" - john mayer
"cathedrals" - jump, little children
::i am driving up 85 in the // kind of morning that lasts all afternoon // just stuck inside the gloom // 4 more exits to my apartment but // i am tempted to keep the car in drive // and leave it all behind::
as soon as the guitar began to play, jessie knew what she was listening to & a single tear began to stream down her flushed face. a familiar song, it was katie's favorite. well, not her favorite, but the one jessie found her listening to the most, especially if she wasn't in the best of moods. something seemed slightly odd about the song, but not necessarily in a bad way. the acoustic was just that, acoustic, but also slower and that's when jessie realized that it was infact katie who was playing the song. and in time, katie who was singing along. the ambulance had just left, with what could quite possibly be the love of her life, leaving jess feeling even more alone in the world.
where had everything gone so wrong? she shouldn't have overreacted. their arguement now just seemed so silly and juvenille. yet nothing could change the effects of what had just occurred & the seriousness and maturity of it all.
::cause i wonder sometimes // about the outcome // of a still verdictless life::
could things ever be as good as they were? would jessie ever be able to feel as free and happy as when she was with katie? all of these thoughts played their way through her racing mind, as the song continued to play. surprised that no one had even noticed the tape recorder left behind, she now partly wished she would have never pressed play.
::am i living it right? // am i living it right? // am i living it right? // why georgia, why?::
she couldn't help but feel responsible for what had happened. how could she not? even though she didn't physically pull the gun up to katie's sweet, sweet head; the eerie notion of it all was enough.
"oh god, how could i have not seen this coming?" jess thought to herself. as the next verse came into play, she realized that maybe there was a lot more to it all then just the breakup.
:i rent a room and i fill the space with // wood in places to make it feel like home // but all i feel's alone // it might be a quarter life crisis // or just the stirring in my soul::
the song went on, only bringing more tears and sadness to jessie's soul.
:so what, so i've got a smile on // but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head // don't believe me // when i say i've got it down. everybody is just a stranger but // that's the danger in going my own way // i guess it's the price i have to pay // still "everything happens for a reason" // is no reason not to ask myself::
at the ending of the song, that's when jessie just died inside.
"...God billie, i am so sorry for all of the pain. i can't change my past and the way i've handled everything. don't stop loving, don't ever stop...because...i won't ever stop loving you..."
she couldn't handle it anymore. overwhelmed with every mix of emotions possible, jessie just let herself cry. she didn't know what else to do. never before had she felt this much pain inside. she still couldn't fully comprehend how katie hadn't given any clues of being so sad to the point of depression. trying to comfort herself, she grabbed her diskman from her bag, and hit track eleven on the burned cd. this cd contained every song that katie had ever suggested to jess. she let the song go, turning the volume up all the way, so she could just sit it down and listen. as she cradled her face in her hands, ever so faintly she would sing along every now and then, trying to give some voice to what she was feeling inside.
::in the shadows of tall buildings // of fallen angels on the ceilings // oily feathers in bronze and concrete // faded colors, pieces left incomplete // the line moves slowly past the electric fence // across the borders between continents. in the cathedrals of new york and rome // there is a feeling that you should just go home // and spend a lifetime finding out just where that is. in the shadows of tall buildings // the architecture is slowly peeling // marble statues and glass dividers // someone is watching all of the outsiders // the line moves slowly through the numbered gate // past the mosaic of the head of state. in the cathedrals of new york and rome // there is a feeling that you should just go home // and spend a lifetime finding out just where that is. in the shadows of tall buildings // of open arches endlessly kneeling // sonic landscapes echoing vistas // someone is listening from a safe distance // the line moves slowly into a fading light // a final moment in the dead of night. in the cathedrals of new york and rome // there is a feelign that you should just go home // and spend a lifetime finding out just where that is::
sorry for the confusion on whether or not katie is dead...if you want, all will be explained in due time...