Like Wings on a Butterfly
Feedback: feedback is
appreciated but please be gentle =). Thanks!
Karenmkk26@comcast.net
Author's Notes: This is my first ever fanfic. I have written short stories before but
not for a while and haven't shared with too many people. I was having a hard
time coming up with a title, but since this deals with the time right after
the letter, I chose this one because Katie is worried about what will happen
between herself and Jessie now that she was honest about her feelings. Also,
as I am sure you will figure out, the brackets indicate that character's
thoughts. I havent seen the Jessie-Katie eps since they were live on Tv, so if
anyone else has a better IM name for Katie, feel free to share.....
A/N2: Bounce was in the theaters in 1999 so it could have been on video and
cable at the same time as O and A, if not, just humor me please =)
**********
It was a Thursday night about 830, two agonizing days after Katie had poured
her heart out to Jessie. Jessie had been absent from school ever since and
Katie felt like a kid again, one who had just watched her new puppy get hit
by a car, but in this case, the puppy was her heart. Grace said she was
"sick" but neither girl really bought it.
{Why did I have to write that darn letter?} Katie thought to herself. {I
should have just kept my mouth shut. I knew she wasn't ready. Now I have
lost my best friend, the only one who really got me.} She went over to the
computer and signed on, trying to find something to do to occupy herself.
{No email, no one interesting is online, maybe I ll just go into this chat
room.} Katie sat watching the screen for about 10 minutes trying to decide
what to do. Nothing anyone was talking about interested her. Just then she
heard a door open. One of her buddies had just signed on. She looked at her
buddy list and saw that "Billie15" had just signed on. {Oh man. Jessie is
on. I wanted to email her so bad just to make sure she is alright but I know
I have to let her make the next move. She has my letter, it is up to her
now. I just wish waiting didn't feel like this.} She had been getting
instant messages from several of her friends but she said that she was in
the middle of research for a paper and she would get back to them later.
There was only one person she wanted to talk to and that was the only reason
she had not put her away message on. Finally after Jessie had been on for 10
minutes, or what seemed like 5 years to Katie, a box appeared on her screen.
Billie15: "Katie....are you busy?"
BillieHFan: "No,....of course not, Jessie. I've been worried about you." {As
if I would ever be too busy to talk to you}
It took Jessie a few minutes to respond. Meanwhile, Katie was dying over and
over, wondering if she had said the wrong thing and what Jessie was going to
say.
Billie15: "I am sorry for how I've treated you the last couple days....I
just....this is a lot harder than I thought it would be..."
BillieHFan: "It's ok. I understand. Would you like me to make it easier on
you?"
Billie15: "How can you do that?"
BillieHFan: "If you want, I can come over right now and get my sweater and
you can throw the letter away and pretend the whole thing never happened."
Billie15: "NO! Please don't. I don't want that. I don't want to lose you.
It's just that, you know, there are certain "expectations" for us in life,
for me anyway. I am supposed to go to school, do what I am told, do my work,
do well, grow up, fall in love, get married and make my family proud of me.
I am used to being the 'good' girl and doing what everyone expects of me, I
don't think how I am feeling right now falls under the category of what my
parents want for me."
Katie had been driving herself crazy again waiting for the response. She
wished she could suggest they talk on the phone, or better yet in person,
but she knew that this was not a conversation they wanted anyone to
overhear and at this time on a weeknight, everyone was around at the Mannor.
BillieHFan: "I know how important it is to you to make your family proud of
you and I understand. I'm sorry. I should have just kept quiet about
everything. I wish I could take it back."
Billie15: "I don't. Ever since we met, my life has been different, exciting.
I don't dread getting up in the mornings, at least during the week, cause I
know I can go to school and see you. When you smile at me, no matter what
mood I am in, everything bad just goes away. I have never felt that way
before about anyone and it just scared me at first because of what that
means. No one has ever connected with me or understood me the way that you do,
Katie. That means so much to me. I never wanted to hurt you and I don't know how I can undo the last two days."
BillieHFan: "What you just said, that you still want us to be friends just
about did it. I was so afraid I had messed up and lost my best friend
forever. I knew you didn't feel the same way, but I had to put myself out
there."
Billie15: "Of course I still want to be your friend, but Katie? Who said I
didn't feel the same way you do?"
Katie read what Jessie had said and froze. This was too much to hope for.
She thought she had scared Jessie away but now she was starting to get a
totally different feeling.
Billie15:"Katie? Are you there?"
BillieHFan:"Yeah, Jessie. Sorry. I....I just didn't know what to say. You
mean that you like me too? As more than a friend that is?"
Billie15:"I think so, but I was just too afraid to admit it until yesterday.
When I read your letter for the first time, so many different things went
through my mind. I was happy, scared, excited, confused and content all at
once. Finally everything in my life made sense.....except for one thing. You
are a girl. I didn't want to think about that so I hid. I faked sick and
zoned on the couch for two days. Yesterday afternoon, Bounce was on, you
know with Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck?"
BillieHFan: "Yeah, I saw it in the theater."
Billie15: "Well, you know the part when Ben Affleck's character is talking
about someone to say good night to? The last call of the day? Someone that
no matter what time it is, you can call for whatever reason?"
BillieHFan: "Yeah?"
Billie15: "As soon as he said that, I realized I wanted that too. I wanted
someone who knows me as well as I know myself, who I can have fun with, who
knows my bad points and still cares about me even so.....someone to make me
feel complete, the other half of me. Then I started thinking about the last
few months and realized that I had found that, it just wasn't who I had
expected."
BillieHFan: "I don't know what to say Jess. I thought I had screwed up any
chance of us being friends, I thought when you imed me tonight, you were
going to tell me that you didn't want to be friends anymore. Don't get me
wrong, I am sooo glad that isn't the case, but I was not expecting this. I
want what you want but, are you sure? I mean...."
Billie15: "Katie, yes I'm sure. I have thought about nothing else all day. I
don't know exactly how this will work.....I mean, I know I care about you
and want to spend time with you, but I don't know if I am ready for anyone
to know. I'm not ashamed of you, I am just worried about what people will
think."
BillieHFan: "I understand Jessie. I don't want anything that you don't want.
I am willing to let you set the pace, as long as we can start hanging out
again?" Little did Jessie know that Katie would have promised anything if
they could be friends again, the sun, moon, stars, any planet in the solar
system.
Billie15: "Of course we can. I miss you Katie, I can't wait for school
tomorrow."
BillieHFan: "I miss you too, Billie. Me either."
Billie15: "Billie? I like that."
BillieHFan: "I thought you might. Ever since your voice blew me away that
day when you were on stage, that's how I've thought of you."
Billie15: "So, what does this mean?"
BillieHFan: "What does what mean?" {Katie wasn't thinking too clearly, lost
in thoughts of what was happening.}
Billie15: "Well, I like you, and you like me.....I mean....." Jessie meant
to hit backspace but hit the send button instead.
BillieHFan: "Oooooh. I get it....well, if you mean what does this mean for
us, that is entirely up to you. I want you to be my girl, but only if you
want to."
Billie15: "Your girl? I like that. I would like to be your
girl.....but.....I'm .....I mean, I.....we....I've...you've had....."
Katie's heart sunk.
BillieHFan: "Jessie, it's ok. Forget I said anything."
Billie15: "NO WAY. It's not that I don't want to, believe me. I wanna be
your girl, but I mean, I am the youngest in the class and I ve never even
had a boyfriend.......I......I don't know........, I would feel,....I mean,
you have been with others, I don't know what I'm doing...."
BillieHFan: "Billie, it's ok. Yeah, I have had a few girlfriends before, but
I haven't slept with anyone yet. Did someone tell you something?"
Billie15: "No, I just.....I mean.......Ummmm.....you're so .........{God how
did I get myself into this}.....that is, I think you are gorgeous, you're
popular, I mean, who wouldn't wanna ....you know?"
BillieHFan: "Thanks Jess. I think you're gorgeous too......but, just because
I am popular and have been in relationships before, that doesn't mean I put
out with just anyone you know? I haven't found the right one yet." {Until
now}
Billie15: "Omigod I am so sorry Katie. But, also, you're out......I'm
not....won't that get to you?"
BillieHFan: "I'm not going to lie, it may bother me a little, but, I can
live without kissing you or touching you at school as long as we can still
talk and stuff, can't we?"
Bille15:"Of course we can!"
BillieHFan: "Also, look at it this way, if you aren't out at school, I get
to keep you to myself a little longer. I wouldn't want anyone to take you
away from me you know."
Billie15:"Like they could. Um......if you want, you can come over to my
mom's after school with me tomorrow. We're back over there and mom and Eli
will both be working after school."
BillieHFan: "I would like to very much Billie."
Billie15: "Katie, I'm sorry but Dad just came in and said it was time to go o bed. I'll see you tomorrow?"
BillieHFan: "You better believe it. Is he gone now, Billie?"
Billie15: "Yeah. He just left....I'll meet you by your locker before first
hour?"
BillieHFan: "Sounds good Billie. Sweet dreams, gorgeous."
Billie15: "You too, beautiful. I feel so much better now. Thank you."
BillieHFan: "So do I. I don't want you to ever be afraid to tell me
anything, ok, baby? No matter what I wanna help and be there for you."
Billie15: "Thanks Katie. I've never felt like this before."
BillieHFan: "Me either Billie. We better go. I don't want you in trouble.
See you tomorrow. Good night"
Billie15: "Good night"
Jessie and Katie both signed off and went to bed with very pleasant dreams.
Both slept better than they had all week.