Missing Scene - GSA
by Christina

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: These lovely ladies belong to the wonderful creators of O&A.
Summary:  This is a challenge fic and takes place right after the attic kiss.  Jessie is laying on her bed reflecting on what just happened between her and Katie.  It is told from Jessie's point of view.
Feedback:  I live for feedback, so please let me know what you think. ckelley72@juno.com

Choose a missing scene from either The Gay-Straight Alliance (post-attic kiss--immediately after or later in the day, whatever) or Experience is the Teacher (post-refrigerator scene). It's very open-ended except it must include one of the following:
- A pillow fight or
- An instant message conversation
Work them in however you feel works the best.

**********

Oh...My...God, I can't believe I kissed Katie, not only once, but twice!   What does this all mean?  I know it felt great, which is why I did it again.   I also think she wanted me to because she kinda licked her lips as we were looking at each other, which is what motivated me to do it.  I just looked into her eyes, and then at those lips...it hit me, I had to kiss her.  I couldn't help but do it.   She just drew me in, she always does.  I can't even begin to tell you how right it felt.  What does it mean though?  I know that she likes me because she told me in her letter, but are we like dating now?  Am I her girlfriend?  Is she mine?  We didn't talk about anything, we just sat there and stared at each other after we kissed.  Then Grace had to come by and interrupt our stare fest before she told me what was going on between us.  Why did she run off when Grace came?   Does she not want Grace to know about us?  I think Grace already knows, I mean, she knew before I did.  Should I just talk to Grace and get her opinion?   She already thinks I'm in love with Katie, even though I denied it.  Is there even anything for Grace to know?  What if Katie doesn't really want to be with me?   Grace will really rub it in then!  I don't want to talk to her, I need to talk to Katie.  I just can't!  I don't know what to say.  It's not like I have any experience in the dating department.  I mean, Tad is it and I never really felt anything for him.  I certainly do for Katie.  How could I not?  She's awesome!  She's also a GIRL...and my best friend.  This is so new to me, these feelings.  It's something I never expected before.  I think I'm in love with my best friend!  What's going to happen now?  I can't face her yet, but I need to know what's going on.  Should I go over there?  No, I can't do that.  What if she rejects me and then I'm just standing there rejected.  Okay, I could call her.   I'm sure she's home by now.  What if I freak out and read into her voice or tone?  That's not good!  So, I can't talk to her face to face and I can't call her.  What else is there?  Maybe I should instant message her.  Yeah, I can talk to her without actually talking.  That's a plan!

As I go over to my computer and connect to the internet my heart is beating faster than it ever has.  Once connected, I click on my little yellow guy at the bottom of the screen and go to my buddy list.  That's when I see 'kiss2010' is online.  I don't know what on earth that screen name means.  She used to be 'fungirl2' and then changed it a few weeks ago.  Who knows with Katie?  It must mean something to her and she will tell me some day.

Okay, I'm just babbling about that to avoid what I really need to do.  Realizing this, I send a chat invitation to Katie.

"Hey Katie, are you there?" I typed in hoping for a positive response. 

It took almost five minutes for a reply.  Those felt like the longest five minutes of my life.  I was filled with so much anxiety and uncertainty over all of this.   This conversation could change my life forever!

"Yeah Jess, I'm right here!  I was hoping I would hear from you tonight," she typed in as a response. 

Oh, thank God!  She was hoping to hear from me.  That's a good sign.  What do I say next?  Do I just come out and ask her?  She probably knows I'm thinking because it is taking me so long to respond back.  What do I do?

"Are you still there?" comes another response from Katie.

"I'm sorry, I just don't really know what to say," I typed back hoping to put the ball in her court.

"Are you regretting what happened between us?  Because I don't want to pressure you in anyway," she typed in and those words just hurt. 

She thinks I'm regretting it.  That couldn't be further from the truth.   "Of course I don't regret it!  I'm just really confused and I don't know what all of this means," I answer hoping that she will clarify everything for me.

"You know that I like you, right?" she asks me.

"Yeah, you made that pretty clear in your letter.  You told me everything you were thinking and how you felt about me. I read that letter at least a dozen times over the past 2 days," I typed in, not telling her how I felt about her. 

"So you know that I like you, do you like me back?" she asks me this time getting straight to the point.

"Don't you know that I like you too?" I ask hoping that she does.

"Well, I know that you like me as a friend.  I'm just hoping from what happened today, that you might like me as more than a friend.  Like as a girlfriend," she answers causing more anxiety in me, if that is at all possible.

"Does that mean that you want to be my girlfriend?" I ask being the naïve girl that I am.

"Oh my God, don't you know that?  I hope you want to be mine too," she responds in a hopeful tone, or should I say hopeful typing. 

I can't do this over the computer anymore.  I need to hear her voice.  I need her to hear mine and know how I really feel about her.  "I can't talk to you like this anymore.  I am going to call you," I type in.

"Okay," she responds as I pick up the phone and dial her number.

"Hey Billie," she says as she answers the phone.

"Hey Billie," I respond using our nickname for each other.

"So will you be my girlfriend?" she asks getting to the point as always.

"Yes!" I shout out, sounding quite stupid.  "I'm sorry," I continue.  "I just want you to know that I like you too and want to be your girlfriend," I answer more calmly this time.

"That's great!  So I guess this means we're dating," she responds.

"What exactly does that mean?  I have never technically dated anyone before...and I'm not really sure what I am feeling.  I know that I like you...but I don't think I'm ready for everyone else to know that I like you.  Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" I ask hoping she understands.

"I totally understand if you don't want to tell anyone yet," she responds sounding as though she genuinely meant it.  "To answer your other question, it just means that we hang out, spend a lot of time together, and kiss on occasion," answers Katie.

"That's pretty much what we do now, except for the kissing thing," I return really liking the idea of the kissing thing.

"I guess you're right.  So things won't really change that much, unless you don't want to do the kissing thing," she adds a little worried.

"No, I loved kissing you.  I know I'm not very experienced at it, but I thought it was very good.  I take that back, it was awesome!  I definitely wouldn't mind kissing you again, like every day if I could," I answer probably saying more than I should.

"Why Miss Sammler, I never knew you were so forward.  You can definitely count me in on the everyday kissing thing!" she answers in her cute tone.

So this is it!  This is what it feels like to actually like someone and want to be with them.  It was such a great, yet overwhelming feeling.  I have a girlfriend!   That sounds so weird, but it actually feels right.  Yeah, this is just the beginning.