i ho'okahi kahi ke aloha - Surfer's Heartache
by Amastre

PART 6

The letter in her hands keeps becoming heavier and heavier.

"... you have to forgive me..."

When Jessie read Katie's first letter, she had been shocked... by her own feelings... not by what Katie had written... now she's surprised by Katie's words. She has hoped for this to happen, but she didn't dare to really believe that it would happen.

"... I still love you..."

Jessie can't wait until the next day. She has to go to Katie now... now or never.

"... I always will, you have to believe me..."

There was so much in this letter she wouldn't have the courage to tell Katie. Admitting makes weak... but maybe it was necessary.

"... please tell me you love me. I know you do as much as I love you..."

And with this words Jessie starts running as fast as her feet would carry her. While storming through the town, she folds the letter and puts it into the pocket of her jeans.

When she has left the down to run the last few metres over the beach, she passes Rome's hut... it seems empty, what was quite unusual for this time... the sun has began to set... the last few days Rome and his boys would already have started some kind of little beach party, where all the cool people of the island would hang out... it would smell of barbecue, of charcoal and steaks... a intense smell, which would make you hungry right away. But instead of the sweet scent of food, something completely different hits Jessie's nose and makes her stop immediately. The stench of gas, pricking and sour. Gas in Rome's hut? What would Rome do with so much gas? He doesn't even own a car as far as she knows.

All of a sudden an ear deadening bang fills the air. Jessie looks up und sees black smoke rise from somewhere further down the beach. There's not much down there... nothing what would explode... there's only... only... only Katie's lodge. Oh, my god!

Jessie doesn't hesitate, she runs. Even though the sand, deep and fine, tries to stop her. Katie's lodge! What happened? Not now! That's not fair!

The smell of gas becomes more intense the closer she gets to Katie's lodge... and the smell of burning wood, of burning plastic. Jessie realizes that she hasn't run so much and for so long for quite some time. This couldn't only be her worries pricking in her chest...

"For heaven's sake!!! Rome!!! You must have a screw loose somewhere... my sails... my... my..."  Jessie hears Katie's voice. She's almost crying.

"Shut your face! Serves you right! Did you think you can disgrace me in front of my boys without paying for it?"

"You... you... you won't get away with this!" 

"I will."

Jessie tries to run faster, but she can't her heart is already bursting from the effort. He will hurt her... he will... She hears the engine of a car start, someone accelerates... and drives away. That's when Jessie arrives.

Katie's garden looks as if several oil sources have been lit. Big flames are blazing into the sky. It smelled appallingly of gas and melting plastic. Rome has set Katie's equipment, which has laid outside of her house, on fire. The house.... fire was radiating out of the windows... Where is Katie? Where is Katie? Parts of the wooden walls are missing... the kitchen... so... it's hard work for Jessie to think straight... what is in Katie's kitchen that could explode and set the whole house on fire... the ice-box... it was old... he must have ignited the ice-box... Where's Katie? Jessie runs around the house... She must be somewhere, she has just heard her talk... She hasn't run into the house again, hasn't she? The heat coming from the house was scorching, the wood must have been dried up... very burnable...

"Katie!"  Jessie screams, still gasping for air from her run to the lodge.

Katie doesn't answer. The small house starts to crack and creak, the flames have conquered the roof.

"Katie!" 

Isn't anybody here to help me? Then someone stumbles out of the lodge, throwing a large bag into the part of the garden that isn't burning. Jessie tries to get closer, but it's too hot for her to bear.

"Katie! Don't! Don't!"

But Katie doesn't listen, she runs back into the burning house.

"I have to get Billie!"  She shouts, before she disappears between the flames.

It takes some endless, endless seconds until she reappears, with a sail in her hands... she sprints into the garden, throws the sail in the direction where the bag is lying, it floats through the air for a few metres and then glides to the ground.

She looks for Jessie who's staring at her speechlessly. Katie's face and clothes are sooty and she smells of ashes, but Jessie doesn't care... she pulls her into her arms. As soon as Katie feels Jessie wrap around her, she calms down. So there was some fairness at last.

"Oh... my... god! That was Rome, wasn't he?"  Jessie stutters.

Katie nods into Jessie's shoulder, hugging her fiercely. Stop talking of this guy! Please! I want you... only you... who cares about burning houses... burning sports equipment, furniture and clothes. I don't need them! I'm home. Jess, I'm home!

"We have to call the police and the fire brigade... we can't..."

In the same second sirens become audible.

"Seems someone already has,"  Jessie tries to break free from Katie's arms, "don't, Jess! Don't... stay! Please!"

"But we have to tell them what happened... we... I...," they look at each other, "goddess... I missed you, Katie... I missed you so much."  

Jessie pulls Katie close again.



They have left Katie's lodge before the police or the fire brigade arrived. Katie wanted to leave and Jessie gave in to her wishes, even though she thought it wasn't a good idea.

They arrive at Eli's and Jessie's lodge.

"Katie, you have to call the police, you have to tell them what happenend."

Katie nods and takes the phone which is lying on a table near the veranda.

Rome has burned Katie's house... all she owns... everything. There was just this bag and the sail left. Jessie couldn't believe what had happened. Just a few minutes ago she had thought, she lost Katie forever, that Katie was in love with this guy... and now? Katie is sitting on her sofa, talking to the police... She seems so composed, so calm...

Katie lets the phone fall onto the sofa and closes her eyes. That couldn't all be happening. It seems as if she lost almost everything in exchange for getting Jessie back. Great! Wonderful... does she really have Jessie back? She opens her eyes and look to her right, where Jessie is staying, still scared stiff...Her eyes full of shock. Suddenly she smiles... the shock vanishing from her features.

"They're already searching for him. My neighbours have seen him pouring gas over my equipment."

Katie sighs. She hasn't ever imagined that her friendship with Rome would end up this way. It has always been a problem, that he wanted more than she was able to give... but she thought it wasn't enough to change their relationship.

Jessie sits down next to Katie, never taking her eyes of her. This is now or never. That's their second chance. Isn't already everything said? She ran after her... Katie wrote the letter... do they really need to talk?

"There was no insurance... actually... if truth be told... I kinda became completely poor during the last hour."

But that doesn't prevent her from smiling happily. There is too much she is happy about... Jessie. She wouldn't survive this situation without Jessie, everything seems brighter with her being close.

"And... I can't even take part in the windsurfing race contest tomorrow... I lost all my boards... there's only Billie left."
Jessie grins and her face starts to show shades of red.

"You really called your favourite sail Billie?"

Katie shrugs her shoulders.

"'Ae... I thought about calling it Jessie first... but that would have been too obvious, wouldn't it?" 

Her smiles makes Jessie's knees get weak and her heartbeat kick up. Now... there it is. The situation I've waited for... now: Talk!

"Would talking be inappropriate now?"  Jessie asks.

"Emm... I don't think so... it will distract me a bit..."

Don't get nervous, Singer! Everything is ok, there's nothing wrong! Nothing! Look how she's smiling at you. It's alright... talking is just a matter of form.

Jessie closes her eyes and collects her thoughts. What does she want to talk about? Everything seems so unimportant...

"Why did you leave me?" It gushes forth... to quickly for the rational part of her brain to stop it.

If they have to talk, then they should talk... honestly... without holding back... only this time.

"We... because... it was so intense... we were so close... I got scared," suddenly all her arguments seem so damn weak, that she starts to be ashamed, "I know it's... Jess... I couldn't deal with the fact that we probably were meant to be forever," the words flow easier than she thought, "we were so young... we still are... and... probably I was scared to miss something in my life if I committed myself so early..."

Jessie smiles.

"I wasn't as if we were going to marry soon... or something like that... I mean... I felt it too... but we could have worked it out."

It feels awkward and Katie already suspects, that all the talking would lead to more problems than to happiness. Maybe the best they could have done probably had been to fall upon each other... have sweaty, breathless making-it-up-sex and... live happily ever after. That would haven been easy... not very dignified... but easy... talking makes everything so real... so complicated... unfortunately was their relationship a bit different... a bit to sweet, a bit to innocent, a bit to powerful... But Katie doesn't mind, she loves it that way.

"I'm a dud and a coward... I know..."

"But I understand... I missed you... I was angry... but after some time I just wanted you to come back..."  Jessie quietly says, her voice so low, Katie barely hears it.

"I should have come back... I was ashamed... I couldn't. And... I thought you had already forgotten about me... and it would have been ok, because I deserved it for... for leaving without a word."

They fall silent. That's it! Dead end! She knew it would turn out to be this way... they talk up to a certain point, then they'll stop talking and... what next?

"Where do we go from here? I mean... I... Can't we just go on from where-"

All of a sudden the doors flings open and the nervous voice of Eli interrupts Jessie.

"Jess! Jessica! Have you heard..." 

Eli stumbles into the living room. Katie tries hard to prevent the urge to jump upon him and strangle him. Five seconds! Five seconds later and she would have said it! The magical words! Go on from where it ended, started... whatever... Jessie would given her a free-ride-ticket into happiness, back into her arms. Thanks, brah! I own you one for ruining this night.

It takes a moment until Eli realizes that Katie is sitting on his sofa. A young girl appears in the doorframe, trying to take Eli's hand. That must be his date, at least one of us has a great evening, Jessie thinks to herself, cursing herself for not talking quicklier.

"Oh... I... I suppose you already know that Rome..."

Jessie nods.

"I was there, I saw it. But how do you know?"

"We," he smiles at the girl to his left, "were having dinner, when the fire brigade passed the restaurant... there was a huge riot... and then somebody said that was Rome who set a hut near the beach on fire... I instantly thought of Katie and we, " he smiles at the girl again, obviously his date had been very successful,  "decided to tell you... I was afraid something happened to Katie. Why... Why did he do this? I mean..."

"Why? Because... I think, because I told him in love with," am I really saying this... I saying it... I'm really...,  "with Jess," she can almost feel Jessie stiffen next to her... she said it... out loud, "... he was kinda jealous... I suppose."

"This guy is a total freak... I didn't see that coming," Eli grins, "so... so you're making it up at the moment... I see... so, amm... then it'll be better you two excuse me and this little beauty here... we're on the veranda... take your time!"

The girl giggles foolishly when he takes her hand and leads her to the veranda.

"Still a charming young man,"  Katie smiles, "... can you please repeat what you were about to say!" 

Jessie rolls her eyes. She's teasing me! She knows it is hard for me to tell her... she wants me to say it, because she already said it... we aren't even... She said it! Jessie's heart is stumbling over its own emotions. She said, she loves me.

"You know what I was about to say."

"Totally, but I nevertheless want to hear you saying it."  Katie's grin was wide... but her eyes were sparkling so sweetly, Jessie can't deny it makes her weak.

"You're getting on my nerves. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, of course. But I'm willing to risk all I already have just to hear it."

I've fallen so hard for her... damn... Jessie sighs... I hope I won't faint while saying...

"You're a pain in my neck, Katie! Ok, here you are... ehm...," Jessie smiles, "Katherine Singer... I love you... I... ehm... I'm not mad at you... definitely not... I want you back... forever and I want us to go on from where it ended one and a half year ago."

Jessie can't hide her difficulties with staying serious, Katie's broad, happy smile, that fact that she said the words she never dared to say... everything is so overwhelming. Katie nods, seeking for her composure. She said it! She said it! The relief is driving her mind crazy from joy.

"Nice... Sammler... really nice."

"Thanks. I really appreciate your praise. But, what next?"

Katie hesitates. To her there has been enough talking... a bit to much to be precise...

"I think from my knowledge of socializing... I suppose a kiss would be the next step."

"A kiss? Really. So... am who's turn is it?"  Jessie smiles, she can't hide her happiness anymore.

"Well, you were the last who declared his love so I suppose it is my turn. I should kiss you... to make sure you know I feel the same."

And with this Katie bents over and kisses Jessie slightly on the cheek. Her lips pointed and barely noticeable. She leans into the sofa again and looks at Jessie, who seems kind of disappointed.

"That's all?"

"That was a kiss, wasn't it? Are you saying you can do better?"

Jessie grins mischievously.

"Definitely, way better!"

Just a blink of an eye later Jessie has grabbed the collar of Katie's shirt, pulled her close and prevented her with a kiss from protesting. The fiercest kiss they've ever shared. Their lips almost crashing together and their heartbeats immediately fuelled by the touch of their tongues. Oh... god... Jesus Christ... I'm going to pass out... where did she learn kissing that way... not my... not my lower lip, Jess... oh... goddess...


Outside of the lodge and Eli and his girl have started dancing like he has promised her. They had planned on going into a small club downtown, but the incident with Katie has thwarted their plans. Now Eli has pulled the girl into a hug, whispering a few lines into her ear. Their hips moving with the rhythm of the song playing in the radio.

"... let me hold you... girl, caress my body... you got me going crazy... you... turn me on... turn me on..." 

The girl giggles: "You're so sweet."

"I know."

And then... they completely give into their dancing.


Inside the lodge Jessie and Katie have missed the point where they could have been able to stop. Now there is no way back. Entirely consumed by the play of their lips, their warmth and the feelings they've missed, they don't hear the knock on the door.

Soon the knock grows louder and louder, like several fists banging against the wood. Eli and his date are still occupied with dancing and giggling from time to time.

"Singer! We know you're here! Open the door! Now!"

Jessie and Katie stop dead, now their hearts are not only racing from passion but from... fear. Rome! They can't open the door.

"Ok... then we'll come in!"  A strong voices shouts.

Out of the blue the door flings open, bursting out of its lock and three men walk into the living-room. A big man in a frayed out shirt eyes Katie. She sighs from relief... not Rome... but she wasn't entirely sure if this man was a better visitor: her landlord.

"You burnt my lodge. You'll pay for that!" He states.

"But... I... I lost everything... Rome burnt it... not me..." She stutters, still sitting on the sofa.

"I don't care, who burnt it. You rented it, so you'll pay for it."

"I can't."

"You will. You've got time until tomorrow night... otherwise these two friends of mine will take care of you. I need the money and you'll give me the money, 'ea?"

The men standing behind Katie's landlord grin wickedly as if the already know what will happen if Katie doesn't pay. Without saying another word, the three of them walk out of the lodge, leaving Jessie and Katie behind, completely shocked. This bad day doesn't seem to end.

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