Feel Good Lies
Feedback: Yes, please! :-)
Amastre_1981@gmx.de
Disclaimer: Most of these characters aren't mine and I'm just borrowing
them for a while. But some are mine… like Matt!
Summary: AU Fic. Ok, a little update, I have some ideas about the story
now, but I won't tell you all of them. Jessie and Katie are at college, they
meet and… Jessie is one of these I'm-so-damn-straight-girls who breaks all the
boys hearts and Katie is the very good friend who tries to be not so honest
about a few things.
Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback! And again: I would love to hear
more… :-) There's some dancing involved here, the song is "Horny United - Crazy
Paris (Paris Latino)"… And there's a lot of drinking… I don't know if that kind
of "drug-usage" ;-) is offending to someone, but I wanted you to know, before
you start reading and getting the shock of your lives, "seeing" the girls drink…
well, A LOT! ;-) But it was kind of essential for the plot. *g*
At the moment I'm having some tiny problems with the next part... *sigh*
PART 6
Katie loved parties. She loved hanging around with her friends, chatting,
dancing… but today, she was so terribly nervous, that she could hardly suppress
the shaking of her hands. There was this weird premonition that something bad
will happen.
Alex welcomed them. For a second he stopped short and eyed Katie. Jessie and
Katie. He didn't know that the two of them knew each other... and that… somehow
it was really, really strange seeing them together. Jessie and Katie. He
couldn't imagine that they had something in common. In fact they were even
different on a very basic level: Sexual orientation. Jessie is dating every guy
who can't run away fast enough or who is brave enough to ask her even though he
knows that she'll definitely dump him. And Katie: Well, kind of mysterious…
she's flirting a lot with the girls, but nothing really serious. Alex shook his
head, faintly smiling.
"Welcome to the house of sin, ladies," then grinning at Jessie, "I see, you've
brought your next victim. Please be kind and try not to dump her, before this
night ends."
He tried to make a funny remark. It was odd to see them coming together. He was
sure that they were only friends, but nevertheless he couldn't leave it.
Jessie hesitated, but then she faked smile, looked at Alex and took Katie's
hand.
"No dumping today, Alex. As you said: House of sin. Let's see what happens in
here!"
Wow! You're quite courageous tonight, Jessie Sammler. She was a little bit
shocked by herself, but she couldn't be too surprised, because two bottles of
some rum, soda and lime mixture did their duty. Normally she never gets drunk
before a party, but tonight she wanted everything to be different. Their was
this… something… that wanted to force a change. The conscious part of herself
was scared to death by everything… by to touch of Katie's hand, by their
closeness, by just being at this party… the other one just did what it wanted to
do without Jessie having any kind of control.
Katie tried desperately to understand what they were saying, but it was too
loud. From inside she heard music and behind them on the lawn, there were a
couple of guys shouting. She could just hear some words… victim… dump… and house
of sin. Well, that didn't make any sense… Oh, oh! What's that! Why is Jessie
taking my hand? Okay, great. What a fantastic beginning of the night, I haven't
even seen a bottle of beer and we're already holding hands. Really great! She
shook her head. It could just get worse…
Jessie couldn't cross the room without being chatted up be some guy. Katie was
sitting on a sofa on the other side and watched her. She was so stunning, so
very beautiful… and she's smiling at me. Katie loved it. She returned Jessie's
smile and wondered what made the difference to yesterday. Then she looked at the
bottle in her hand: Alcohol is definitely a difference. So what she was enjoying
at the moment was a completely drunken Jessie, who acts completely out of
character. She emptied her bottle and went to the kitchen.
There were so many people Katie had to push and shove her way towards the
kitchen free. Suddenly, when she was standing in front of a very big guy, whose
name was Yukio and who just told her he was an exchange student from Japan, she
barged into someone.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
Katie turned around and was immediately standing extremely close to Jessie, who
also had turned around. Extremely close meant: there wasn't any room for paper
between them.
Katie's efforts trying to stay calm failed completely, her knees went weak.
"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"
She started again, but it was to loud. Jessie couldn't hear her, so she bent
over towards Katie's ear to ask again.
"What?" She screams, her lips close to Katie's ear.
Oh, goodness! I'm going to faint. Katie closed her eyes, they weren't working
reliably anyway. How could Jessie dare to…?
Jessie moved away a bit to look in Katie's eyes, her look questioning. Hadn't
Katie heard her? She wanted to try again and moved back towards Katie's ear, but
… But all of a sudden Jessie lost balance and stumbled into Katie, her hands
seeking hold on Katie's hips and hands and her lips directly hitting Katie's
ear.
Katie stopped dead. Her heart skipping a few beats… Oh, come on… she wouldn't
notice… She grabbed Jessie's hand and tried to hold her, the rest of her body
hugging Jessie somehow… so she couldn't fall over. Think straight! Think
straight, Singer! Oh my… oh my… she's kissing my… I'm going to faint…as I said…
I'll just pass out… Jess, stop it… move away… Katie couldn't ignore Jessie's
lips touching her earlobe and feeling her breath at her neck. She was sure, she
was going to loose her mind tonight.
A wide smile appeared on Jessie's face. Why couldn't she fall a sleep right
here? Right here in Katie's arms… she's so soft… and she smells so good…
intoxicating… somehow… I'm allowed to think that, am I? You know… I'm a healthy
straight girl… I just like Katie… oh, I'll need another beer to bear this, her
touching me…my senses are going crazy.
Jessie let go of Katie and smiled at her.
"Sorry!"
Then she disappeared in the crowd.
The two guys who were standing next to each other grinned.
"Hey… do you remember what they said on Buffy?"
The other one shook his head.
"Seems our sweet Jessie isn't driving stick anymore."
They laughed.
"Well, as if she had any choice, she dumped almost every guy on campus. So it's
the girls turn now."
She's drunk.
Katie didn't know what to do. She wasn't as drunk as Jessie, so she felt like
she was taking advantage of her. There was no way she will dance with Jessie.
But Jessie didn't care, she took Katie's hand and pulled her to the middle of
the room.
"I can't dance!" Katie protested.
"You can dance."
Jessie's smile made Katie feel incredibly weak. She couldn't say no. And the
thought of having Jessie close in her arms made her feel even will-less. She
returned Jessie's smile.
"Ok, do what you want! Make me dance!"
Katie laughed. Everyone in the room was watching them, but she didn't care.
"I will make you dance. " Jessie promised and pulled Katie close.
It was a fast song, nothing to dance this close. Katie couldn't imagine what was
on Jessie's mind… until… until… she felt her hands on her hips… moving them to
the rhythm of the song.
Oh, goodness! I can't take that! Katie thought, her mind filled with pure
horror. If Jessie knew what she was doing, she would stop immediately. But what
if she knew and wanted to? She's drunk! Don't forget she's drunk!
Jessie smiled to herself. She felt Katie shiver under her touch. She had eyed
Katie from time to time the whole evening, she recognized how Katie was looking
at her… Jessie was enjoying it, but even if she wanted to she didn't dare to
return those looks. Now those thoughts didn't matter anymore… somewhere behind
the veil of being drunk, she knew that tomorrow she would be scared, but tonight
it just felt right.
Katie tried hard not to loose control, instead she tried to do… well… she tried
to dance. Even though she had a very hard time trying not to just grab Jessie
and pull her onto the next sofa, falling upon her. Yesterday she felt close to
her like they knew for years, they understood each other, could have talked
through the night. But today it was pure physical attraction, like something
built up inside of her…Moving in the same rhythm with Jessie, touching her… made
her feel she wouldn't survive this night.
She knew after this evening dancing would have a complete new meaning to her.
Alex stood next to Matt, who watched the two dancing.
"Hey, what's going on there?" He asked, sounding a little bit shocked.
"They're dancing. Never seen someone dance before?"
"Well, yes… But… Damn, look at them! I've never seen two girls dance this… I
don't know… hot… it's… you know, guys would pay to see something like that."
Matt smiled to himself. There was definitely something going on. They were
almost doing it right there on the dancefloor. Even he was a bit shocked, he had
seen Katie dance with her girls before, but not that way.
"I'm gay. You remember? I don't really care about dancing girls. But you're
quite right… they're hot."
"See! Even you say they're sexy. Does Jessie know that Katie's gay… I mean… she…
oh, my god! She probably wouldn't allow Katie to touch her… Don't do that Katie!
Don't! Oh, god! She did it! She touched her back!"
"Well, I suppose she doesn't know… but she's drunk… and having fun…"
"And Katie is taking advantage of her."
"They're both drunk."
"That's no excuse."
"Yes, it's an excuse for both of them. Don't you understand?"
Stated Matt and turned away, walking towards the kitchen, leaving Alex alone
watching the girls dance.
Jessie felt like she was dreaming. This must be some crazy, weird dream… Katie's
touching her. Her hands are everywhere and there's this song and this
unbelievable soft body in her arms… and she's liking it. She's really liking it.
But she's drunk… she's drunk, all this doesn't count. It's worthless.
The song fades out and Katie quickly lets go of Jessie, desperately trying to
ease some of the tension between them. She saw Jessie's beaming face… has never
seen her this happy.
"I made you dance!" Jessie said proudly.
"Yes, you made me dance. But now I'll need a drink, otherwise I'll die of
thirst."
She smiled. Well, some very, very, very cold shower would be better than another
beer, but how should she give a reason for going upstairs and taking a shower.
They went into the kitchen, where Matt and some other guy were sitting on the
table. Katie got two bottles from the icebox and handed one of them over to
Jessie.
The guy sitting on the table was grinning.
"Hey girls! Nice dance!"
"Thanks." Katie said coolly, because the guy's face made her consider what he
was going to dream about this night.
"Have you heard about this new trend?"
"What?" Katie expected him to tell her about the trend of all college students
claiming they're bisexual. Today almost everyone was bisexual… ok, except for
Jessie. Jessie was straight. Don't forget, she's straight!
"You have to drink to close friendship."
"What?"
Katie looked at Jessie, but she just shrugged her shoulders.
"Just do what I'll tell you."
Jessie nodded and said quietly: "I suppose it won't hurt…"
"Put your arms together… and then… drink from each others bottle."
They did as he told them.
"And now? That's all?" Jessie asked, sounding a little bit disappointed.
"No, it's not!" His grin grew wider and wider. "Now you have to kiss."
Katie's jaw dropped open. Dancing… ok, she survived that one. But kissing? She
will eventually die, right here in the middle of this kitchen. Well, she'll die
with Jessie in her arms, but she'll die…
"No way!"
She said quickly, a bit too quickly. Jessie looked kind of hurt. It's just a
kiss. Why's Katie freaking out? Jessie thought about it for a moment. Does this
mean kiss her on…? Oh, that's something completely different. She tried to hide
her panic.
"You don't have to kiss me… It's ok, Katie…" She tried to calm her and herself
down
What sort of night is this? I'm doing everything wrong. She looks hurt… That's
not how she meant it, it's not that she didn't want to kiss Jessie… really, but
she didn't want this guy to watch and she didn't want to loose control. Katie
felt uncomfortable. What will happen if she kisses Jessie? Really kisses her?
This vulnerable look in her eyes, she doesn't want to hurt her. Never.
"No wait, we'll kiss… it's not a big thing isn't it…I've kissed girls before."
Katie said, trying to sound self-confident. But.. oh shit! That was wrong again.
Jessie, don't panic! It wasn't a very comfortable seeing Jessie looking hurt and
shocked at the same time.
"You've kissed girls before?"
She's gay! Her voice screaming in her head. Grace was right. She's gay. Ok, what
now? What next? She could pass out and they won't have to kiss. So yesterday was
a date, wasn't it?
Don't stutter! Katie Singer, don't stutter!
It was a date and she loved it.
"Yes... I'm... well, you know, I'm a naughty girl!" Ok, that's not it, didn't
even sound funny.
Next try: "Oh, come on! I kissed my turtle when I was five, too. It's nothing."
Yes! That's it, she's smiling.
She so cute and she's gay… Oh, my god! I can't even stand this thought drunk…
Don't do it! Katie! Don't… I can't stand it… Just let it be… please… Jessie
didn't know why she didn't say all her thoughts out loud. It was like she wanted
it to happen, but didn't want it to happen at the same time. She wanted someone
else to decide.
Now kiss her! Just kiss her…
Her heart stopped beating, when her lips met Jessie's. Make it a short one, your
body needs your heart… She wanted to let go, wanted to ease the tension… this
unbearable tension.
But Jessie suddenly didn't let go. She grabbed Katie's neck and hold her close.
This was heaven, it must be. It's still this weird dream. God, she feels so
good. Jessie lost control over her thoughts. Inside her head she screamed
Katie's name, begged her to never stop.
But she stopped. Their heads still close, they looked in each others eyes.
"Do it again!" Jessie whispered.
Katie was breathless.
"Why?" She asked, her eyes half closed.
"Don't know. Just do it again, please."
For a very brief moment Katie thought about the next morning, when they aren't
drunk… when she had to face that she had taken advantage of Jessie. But she
hadn't! Jessie is asking her to kiss her again.
Ok, forget tomorrow. Kiss her! Maybe it's your last chance!
Katie closed her eyes again and carefully kissed Jessie's lower lip, until
Jessie pulled her as close as possible. Then their kiss deepened and the outside
world vanished completely. So soft… so soft… Katie couldn't think a single
thought.
Jessie's hands were shaking, when she slightly touched Katies neck. She couldn't
believe all these feelings were true.
They parted again. Jessie placed her head on Katie's shoulder and whispered into
her ear.
"I want this… every time I see you."
"You're drunk."
"No, I'm not drunk. Every time, promise me!"
Katie didn't answer.